Locked Away

The Lost Moments •Hakyeon's Lost Letter•

Hakyeon's POV

To my dear, beloved Taekwoon

When I picked up the phone and heard that it was not your voice, I knew instantly something was wrong. I was not expecting what I heard. I was absolutely devastated. I did not expect this to happen when I broke up with you. I thought you would just move on and fall in love with someone else just as I'd hoped I would.
I still love you more than anything but leaving you was still the right choice for me to make. The right choice for me to be able to move on in my life. I thought you would fight through it just as I'd hoped I would. We are both fighters Taekwoon. I thought we would fight together.

I left for Europe two months after your funeral. I took most of your things. I sleep in your oversized shirt and tracksuit pants most nights. I took your couch, I placed it in my living room and I sit on it everyday.

Hongbin has been helping me to deal with everything since you passed. Even though he hates you he still helped me to pack all of your things and he held me whilst I grieved. I thought the tears would never stop. The day they did was because I had run out. But he hates you even more for managing to break my heart yet again. You left me and this time you aren't coming back.

Yes I left. You could almost say that I ran away. Every day that I spent back in Korea reminded me of us and especially after you died, it hurt so much. It hurt remembering that we used to perfect. It hurt remembering how much I loved you. How much I still love you.

I regret having let you go that quickly. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I should have thought over it more. If I forgave you then you wouldn't have died. If I forgave you then you would still be alive.

But then it was one of the best decisions which I had made for myself. It just came with a severe consequence. One which I didn't want. Not at all.

I have to apologise. Hongbin told me time and time again that this wasn't my fault. That it was your choice and I had nothing to do with it. But I can't bring myself to not blame myself. This was all my fault. We would still be together if I gave you another chance. You would still be here if I gave you another chance. My love I am so sorry for what I made you do. I am so sorry. I became so weak after Yuta's party. All of my decisions were ones made for my own good. I didn't consider your feelings when I made my decision about us and I'm sorry for that.

Yet again I am so sorry for all the pain which I caused you Jung Taekwoon. But I love you more than you will ever know.

We will meet again, soon.

Yours sincerely,
Cha Hakyeon

I fold the note and press it against my lips. A tear falls down my cheek and hits the paper.

I slowly crouch and place the note onto Taekwoon's grave beneath the bunch of roses which I had previously placed there.

I hope he will read it. And I hope he will know that I am going to see him again soon. In the flesh. Well not really in the flesh.

I pull down my sleeves over the cuts on my wrists and walk away from his grave.

"Only three more weeks until I will see you my love" I mutter to myself.

"Please wait for me."

A/N - This chapter is dedicated to ravithecrackkidz who wrote this wonderful letter to Taekwoon! I changed it up quite a bit actually but the basis and all of it was ravithecrackkidz 's idea!! so this lovely chapter is dedicated to them^^

don't forget to request a scene yourself if you want<3

also the last small bit of text was something that i cane up with after reading the letter. maybe something will happen in one of the bonus chapters...

thanks for reading!!