Stuck
Neville Longbottom x Reader
Part one
Warning: depression
You were stuck. You weren't sure what changed but suddenly the days began to blend together. You smiled for your friends but not for yourself, each one forced. You began to draw less and less, losing interest in the one thing you not only did best but loved most. Everything was difficult, even getting out of bed and you still didn't know why. Nothing in your life went wrong. No challenges had presented its self to you. No heart break or terrible news from home came, your emotions just disappear. There wasn't any direct explanation until five months had passed and finally you need a tutor to help you get back to your place as number one of the six years.
Another unwilling day to get out bed left you to miss breakfast and make your way to the library. Your roommates noticed what was wrong but none of them were your friends. Majority of your fellow ravenclaws didn't care for you. You were different but that had never bothered you. You noticed Longbottom sitting at a table stacked with books. Suddenly you wanted to go right back to your dorm and miss this whole day but you couldn't be unkind to him of all people. You knew he was a sweetheart.
You sat down with a sigh. You knew everything that Neville was telling you but you still were getting questions wrong, not because you were spaced out but simply because you didn't want them to right. Neville was disappointed but slowly began to realize something was wrong with you. The boy hadn't spoken to you much since coming to hogwarts. You never knew that Neville loved you. Most people found it to be oddly obvious since he was calm and collected around but still caring. He treated you differently then others and actually checked on your mood each day to see if you needed some cheering up. That's why he offered to tutor you. Something was wrong and things weren't changing.
"Hey y/n are you feeling well? You seem a bit out of it today." Neville had noticed over the course of the past few months your grades had decreased. He could you weren't frustrated or bored with life, you just seemed to not be yourself almost as if you were a purposeless shell. He knew something cracked in you when you stopped carrying your sketchbook. "Yeah I'm good." You gave him a sad smile as you looked back at your textbook. Everything here you already knew. You spent countless hours studying ahead of your level and had enough information to graduate and perform well as a professor here which was your plan. "You know I think we should take a break. We've been at this for four hours straight now." Neville gave out a small chuckle. "Y/n I um noticed you stopped carrying your sketchbook.. did something happen..?". "Nothing happened, I just don't want to draw." You not wanting to draw? That's like Neville not wanting to deal with herbology. Slowly Neville went through the different mental situations and diseases that can occur in a person.
After thirty minutes you went back to work and two hours later nothing changed and you two stopped the session planning to meet again every Saturday for a session until your grades got back to were they were. You didn't care. You went back to your dorm and slept. Not eating had become a regular occurrence. No one noticed or at else no one mentioned you getting thinner. You didn't care if they did ether. It wasn't going to change. Neville went to the black lake to ponder a plan to help you with your health. He spent several hours just trying to think of what might be wrong then he realized you seemed to be stuck. Depression. It can affect anyone, even the happiest people and leaves with a disinterest in things they normally loved. The only was you didn't seem sad, just not happy. No other option made sense though unless something was going on at home that he didn't know about. He walked back to castle for dinner comin up with different ways he could help you get through your disorder if that was what was wrong.
The next morning at breakfast Neville took a seat next to you. He noticed you didn't eat anything and drink only pumpkin juice. "Hello y/n I was wondering if you were going to hogsmeade today?". You ponder this. You didn't want to leave the castle but who were you to deny Neville. "Depends... are you wanting someone to accompany you today?". "Actually I was hoping we could get to know each other better so I can adjust my teaching methods for a more personalized approach for you." Of course. That's the only phrase that came to mind. For some reason it upset you slightly that this was Nevilles only reasoning behind getting to know you. You thought he was nice and after your session you had thought maybe how you've been acting could change with his help. Maybe one day you'd crack and he'd know what is wrong with you. Maybe... "Sounds like a great idea, shall we leave after breakfast?". "That's perfect" Neville said with a grin. "I gotta go over to the gryffindor table to check in with some people". With that Neville got up but not before kissing your cheek swiftly. What the hell? Why would he do that? He must have done it by habit right?
You two walked through the cold to hogsmeade making comments about the snow, the weather, simple talk. You didn't know what you were doing. You weren't feeling any different then you ever were with any of your friends. You hoped Neville would be able to change you in some way but it just wasn't going to happen. That's what you get for having hope. This thought repeated over and over and over again constantly. You had began to put yourself down for your behavior which made you start to feel worse about your circumstances. You went into each store looking around but buying nothing until you came to the candy store. Neville bought several treats. You bought none. As you two walked out Neville suggested taking a seat after hours of walking around. "So y/n how are you feeling..?". "Okay I suppose.". "Are you sure?". "Neville. Not to be rude. But why are you asking. Why does it matter.". "I've noticed how you've been acting.. I thought it was a phase or something at home bothering you but after talking for so long.. y/n do you think you have a disorder of some sort making you feel this way..". He was going to up front with you. There wasn't a way to sugar coat figuring out if someone had depression or were depressed. You just had to ask. "Neville.. you're asking me if I have depression aren't you..". You'd ponder the thought over breakfast that day after Luna came over to you asking how you were because you'd seem depressed lately. "Y/n I don't you'd stop drawing if it wasn't something like a mental issue. I mean you drew constantly when you were in the hospital wing after getting hit with that bulger in your second year.". "You seriously remember that?". Neville chuckled. "Y/n of course I do. Look I've been keeping an eye on you sense I met you. You're a smart girl with a bright future. I'd be dumb to not try and keep you feeling as well as possible.". "Neville.. I.. thank you.". You didn't know how to feel. This sweet kid had been looking out for. You weren't sure if people like him existed in the world. People looking out for others happiness. It was a strange subject for you. "Neville.. I think I might have depression.. I'll talk to my parents about meeting with a doctor.. I know medicines can help.". "Just don't lose yourself y/n". He turned providing a heart warming smile. "The world needs someone as artistic as you to give us something to smile at." . Nevilles hand fell on top of yours. A feeing of comfort forming over you. Maybe I won't be so stuck anymore you thought to yourself....
