dreamingly

Chapter 18

I never really knew what was love or that feeling when you had someone talk about silly thing with you. Someone just gave me a taste of it and I. Well, you know that. Then he left. Of course I cried. But, never mind.
Okay, I'm not going to talk about. Here's an update!

It happened again.

In my dream.

It was repeating in my sleep and he hadn't showed up yet.

Every night I would sit on my bed, staring at my window with hope maybe he will come.

But he didn't.

I wanted to knock on his door but he wasn't there, his mother told me he was going out somewhere, he was always like that. Disappear then come back. His mother also told me that he sometimes just left without telling and I shouldn't be worried.

I was worried.

Where did he go?

Even his mother didn't know where did he usually go.

I didn't know about that but he just didn't come back.

Lana and I got along like usual when she joined me for my morning walk. She was a bit on the wild side and she didn't bother not to fix her hair.

Mom was rarely at home, leaving her two daughters at home and returned back home on the next day.

Everyday just got worse.

I rarely slept at night because I knew the same dream will wake me up from my sleep.

I didn't want to go through it.

I just stayed up late night, sitting on the bed, hugging my knees.

I knew, this was like any other night that Jordan wouldn't come.

What did I do wrong?

Why did he leave?

Or maybe he just got bored of me because I was just this depressing girl who had a broken family and unattractive personality. Maybe he thought I was fun but I wasn't.

The voice inside me kept telling me things like that.

Then I knew it was all so true.

"Leah."

I imagined the way he called out my name, when he always cupped my cheeks in his big hands, telling me,

"I'm not going to leave. I'll be with you."

But it was all beautiful lies he used.

"Your smile makes you look so pretty."
"If you have a nightmare, just hug me."

"I.. Leah, you know... You're so wonderful and I'm just so afraid that I'll hurt you."

I didn't know how to stop his voice in my head.

I cried.

I missed him.

I've done reading It Only Happens In The Movies and I was so damned sad, I really recommend you guys to read it. It is a masterpiece.

And I'm so so so sorry for the late update, I was a bit busy lately with my novel and stuffs around me, I just moved out to another town.