All That We Are

If You Must Leave

Simon

I've never been a huge fan of Baz's aunt Fiona. Ever since we've been together, she's been nicer to me, but I'm still typically at the arse-end of her pranks (the last time we visited her she spelled my toes into one big mega-toe)(I didn't even know there was a fucking spell for that).

But still. Baz and Fiona are really close, and I can see how much it's hurting him that someone's taken her.

He leans up against me, the cold skin of his back pressing against my chest. Disbelief and hurt etch every crevice of his familiar face. My hands are in his hair, stroking it back, away from his face. Wishing I wasn't crap at comforting people (that's Baz's job, not mine).

"Fiona...?" The incredulous word is barely a breath drifting off his lips.

"What are we gonna do?" I ask. Just because I don't like Fiona doesn't mean I won't go to the ends of the earth searching for her. She's important to Baz, and whether I like it or not, that means she's important to me.

Baz tenses on top of me. I watch the muscle in his jaw bunch up, thinking about how I would've kissed it a few hours ago.

"First we're going to call Penny," He replies.

"And then what?"

Slowly, he turns to face me, those grey eyes drilling into my very soul. A shiver runs through me at the decisive intensity of his gaze.

"And then I'm going after Fiona."

My brow furrows, suspicion needling at the edges of my brain.

"You mean we're going after Fiona... right?"

He doesn't look away, and I'm mesmirised by his liquid-silver eyes. Pouring into me. Filling me up.

Ever so slowly, he shakes his head.

"No, Si, I... this adventure's not for you. Not this time."

The words hit me like a deathblow. My heart has been stabbed, my head lobbed off and rolling on the floor. Spilling the silver blood poured into me by those silver eyes. If I still had wings, they'd be flared out angrily on either side, helping me intimidate him into changing his mind.

But I don't have wings. And I don't think Baz is going to change his mind.

"Baz, what? You can't do this alone, I won't let you," I protest angrily, blood boiling. Good thing I can't Go Off still, or we'd be sleeping in a crater.

Baz grips my arms with icy cold hands. Thumbs stroking up and down my skin in a vain attempt to soothe me (I will not be soothed until he decides to stop being an idiotic twat).

"Simon. You can't come with me." That's that. He says it like there's nothing more to it. Like I won't put up a fight.

"Why not?" I demand, like the petulant child I am.

"Because I love you, and I don't know how dangerous this will be. You can't protect yourself with magic, and I don't know... I don't trust myself to be able to protect both of us. And... and I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt and I knew it was my fault for letting you come with me. That's why not."

I'm a bit taken aback by the answer. My mouth hangs open ever so slightly, and my eyes start to sting from holding them open so wide. Baz-- my beautiful, ridiculous Baz-- looks down sheepishly, finally breaking my gaze.

"Baz, I can--"

"No," He cuts me off, looking at me imploringly. "Please, Simon. Please stay. Make sure Bunce and Wellbelove don't fuck things up. Keep an eye on things for me. Just please, please stay."

The worry in his voice breaks my heart, and I melt.

Scrubbing at the back of my hair, I let out a deep, Penny-esque sigh. Dropping my hands from my head, I take his hands in mine, interlocking our fingers.

"Fine. But if you're not back in a few days, or if something happens, I'm coming after you. You can't stop me."

Baz nods, hair rustling forlornly. Leaning forward, I kiss the top of his forehead. He rests his head in the crook of my neck in response, warm breath tickling my bare collarbone.

"We should call Penny," He murmurs. I dip my chin once in agreement.

"Probably... though you might have a repeat of this conversation with her," I warn softly. Baz just sighs tiredly.

"I hope not... I don't think I have it in me."