All That We Are

If You Must Hurry

Simon

Baz is screaming my name, over and over. Blood blankets everything, the crimson mingling with the black smoke that obscures everything but him. Blood on his face, his arms, his legs, his torso. Staining the ground, the trees around him. Burbling from his mouth with every syllable of my name. Blood and blood and blood.

"Simon! Simon! Simon!" Every phoneme sends icy claws ripping through my heart, eating me alive from the inside out. I open my mouth to cry out to him, but nothing comes out. Nothing but more of that dark, dark smoke. Tears cut bleeding trails down my cheeks like razor blades.

A hand touches my arm; a hand colder than any cold I've felt before. Turning, I look at it, only to see a ring of the vapour crawling over my skin. Sending electric shivers up my spine.

"Come find him, Chosen One..." a voice deeper and darker than the origin of all evil murmurs sensually in my ear. "Can't you see he's hurting?"

-------------------------

I sit bolt upright in bed, breath forcing its way too quickly from my lungs, leaving me gasping. Sucking in air like a dying fish. Or an addict in desperate need of a hit.

"It was just a dream... it was just a dream..." I breathe, attempting to calm myself down.

It isn't working.

I can still feel the slice of my tears down my cheeks, can still hear Baz's awful, agonised screams. Screaming and screaming and screaming. That hell-blackened voice echoes in my mind, the words repeating endlessly.

"Come find him, Chosen One... Can't you see he's hurting?"

Tears, real ones this time, tumble down my face before I can stop them. I wipe them angrily away-- I've cried too often this week. I refuse to be known as the Crying One. (Dammit Baz, look what you do to me...)

Fumbling for a moment, I search in the dark for my mobile to check if Baz called.

Raising the cold hunk of metal and glass to eye level, I stare at the disappointingly blank screen. Still no word from Baz. I'll have to wait until morning to try and find him (how I'll accomplish that, I'm not exactly sure); Penny might kill me if I try to go now.

With a huff that's somewhere between a growl and a sob, I drop the mobile back onto my bed, then push my fingers roughly through my tousled hair. I fall back onto my mattress, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Trying not to think about Baz-- to think at all. The dark ceiling taunts me, echoing the blankness of my mobile screen.

Then an idea hits me with all the force of Going Off. Maybe even the force of Going Out.

Quick as I can, I pick my phone back up, turning it on and scrolling through the pages until I find what I'm looking for: the find my mobile app. How the fuck did I not think of this before? Crowley, I'm an idiot.

Heartbeat racing, I log in. My fingers trip and tumble across the keyboard, like they're running downhill, stumbling to keep up with the force of gravity.

That little loading circle flashes on the screen. Bright. Pulsating. Ominous (more so than any piece of technology has the right to be).

And then there he is. A little blue dot just above Swansea. A little blue dot containing my entire world. A little blue dot that sparks hope into my heart for the first time in days.

I have to go find him. I have to find my... my Baz. My sweetheart. My sun. My moon. All of my stars. My home. I have to go find him.

Before I register what I'm doing, I've pulled on some jeans and a shirt. Then I'm out the door, racing the 10 feet between my room and Penny's. Feet slipping and sliding the way they do when Baz and I get bored and decide to go 'sockskating' down the hall (which happens more often than I care to admit). I have to slam into the wall to stop.

"Penny!" I whisper-shout, "Penny!" My knuckles smart from rapping them against her door.

Penny bursts out into the hall, brandishing her ring, her purple hair flying in every direction. For a moment, she looks weirdly like her mum. All dark eyes and fire.

"What? What's happened?" She demands, eyes darting every which way. I shove my phone at her.

"Baz! He left his tracking whatever on-- Penny, I can find him!"

Penelope blinks. Once. Twice. (Processing... Processing...).

"Oh my God," She finally says, eyes going wide. "Simon. How... Crowley, we're getting slow... Simon, go!"

I think Penny must be able to hear my heartbeat, at this point. It slams against my sternum, each beat sounding like his name.

Baz, Baz, Baz, Baz...

I don't need to be told twice. Leaning forward, I peck her cheek, and then I'm off. Sprinting towards the nearest pair of shoes, scooping up Penny's car keys on my way.

"Call me!" I hear her shout after me. I'm gone before I can say I will.

Baz, Baz, Baz...

My heart continues to beat his name, growing stronger and stronger until I think I might choke. All the while, a second little rhythm whispers in the back of my mind,

Hurry, hurry, hurry...

I jump into the car, slamming the door and gunning the ignition. Speeding out of London, out of the light and the life of the city. Driving until I'm racing along unlit country roads.

It's amazing how fast you can go on empty roads at 3 in the morning.

I press the pedal to the floor, and in the dark it no longer feels like I'm driving. No, this... this is flying.