All That We Are

If You Must Ask

Agatha

An extremely disheveled and dejected Simon Snow shows up on the doorstep at 6 in the morning.

Penny opens the door for him, and I peek out from behind her, wanting to catch a glimpse of the boy I haven't seen in over two years. Since his adoptive father-figure tried to kill me. Since he started gallivanting around with a bloody vampire.

I can't see much through the crack in the door or around Penny, but it's enough. I see Simon, looking very... grown up. Put together, but somehow off; I can't quite tell how. And then I see Baz.

Baz, who looks as good as ever (if not better). Baz, who, upon closer inspection, is gripping Simon's arm a little too tightly. Baz, whose eyes have a hunted, fearful look to them. Like he's hiding something.

A war is being waged in my stomach. One half wants to be cool and beautiful for the boy I once coveted so much I dumped my boyfriend for him; the other wants to grab Simon and run away from the bloodsucking monster holding his arm. I have enough common sense not to do either.

Instead I watch, their voices too hushed for me to listen in (God, they're such a clique). Any time now I'll have to make a decision on whether to save Simon or seduce Baz...

But then, Penny opens the door a little wider, and Simon slips inside. He and the vampire exchange a look, and I swear there's fear in Simon's unremarkable blue eyes. And then Baz is gone, and Simon Snow is standing in front of me in all his Normal glory, his face sadder and more scared than I've ever seen it.

What is Baz doing to him?

"Hi, Agatha," He says awkwardly, raising one hand in a halfhearted little wave.

"Hi, Simon," I reply, with equal ungainliness. Usually, I'm good at conversation, but I honestly don't know how to act in this situation. I've never stayed friends with any of my other exes, but I've also never wanted to stay friends with my other exes. Simon, I'd at least like to be friendly with. I mean, I may not have loved him in the way he and my parents wanted me to, but I did love him as a friend. It was just a difference of interests that got in the way.

I open my mouth to ask him how he's been, but he beats me to the punch, turning to Penny.

"I'm gonna go get some sleep," He tells her, the words sounding like they've got a hidden meaning behind them. Maybe that's just me being paranoid, though. He does look like he's had a rough night; giant, dark bags under his eyes, bronze curls sticking out in every direction, sagging shoulders.

Penny nods, briefly resting her hand on his shoulder. For a moment, the weight of her hand tugs down the collar of Simon's oversized sweatshirt, and I catch a glimpse of something that looks suspiciously like a bruise on his collarbone. Then she lets go and the collar springs back into place, hiding the mark.

Alarm sweeps through me. Has Baz been hurting him? Jesus Christ, how has Penny not noticed any of this? Or is she just too afraid to do something about it? Has Baz threatened her? What the hell is going on here?

Before I can ask Simon any of these questions, he pushes past me down the short corridor, turning in to a doorway and locking the door behind him.

Leaving Penny and I alone again. Great.

But now, I've got something to talk to her about, I suppose. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, even if it takes me all week.

Penny stares at Simon's door for a few moments, then jolts like she's just now remembering I'm here, turning to face me. A forced smile stretches across her chapped lips.

"Sorry about that, Agatha. Simon and Baz..." She doesn't finish the sentence. The anticipation wraps around my gut like an iron fist. "Anyway," She continues, disappointing me, "Let's have a bit of breakfast, yeah? Then I'll show you to your room and you can catch up on your sleep."

I nod in agreement.

She takes us into the small kitchen, getting out plates and the toaster and a pan.

"Fancy some eggs on toast?" she asks, dropping a pat of butter onto the pan. I nod again, trying to figure out how to subtly ask my questions without raising her suspicion (who am I kidding? Penny's suspicious of everything).

"Sure."

I wait until she flips over the eggs before I strike.

"I thought you said Baz was going to be here?" I ask, feigning nonchalance. Penny raises an eyebrow but doesn't look at me.

"He was, but... Something came up. Family trouble." A short, no-frills answer. I don't know what else I expected. Time to dig deeper, I guess.

"What were you talking to him about on your phone?" (I've started saying "phone" instead of "mobile", and it drives Penny and my mum ballistic; I love it).

Penelope stiffens, but it doesn't look like it's in annoyance. No, she's definitely hiding something.

"The... thing he left for. And... Simon." Jesus, I didn't think it would be this hard to get a straight answer out of her.

Fine. I'll dig it out of her over the course of the week. It's more than obvious that none of my questions will be answered today. I suppose I'll just have to deal with the wait. And the possible knowledge that Baz might be doing something awful to Simon.