All That We Are

If You Must Worry

Penelope

Simon comes out (ha.) the next morning looking a little better. The dark circles under his eyes are still there, and his shoulders are still hunched forward dejectedly, but he seems less... just less. Less of everything he was yesterday. More like he's braced himself to face the music. He's more alert, a bit more smiley, and is wearing one of Baz's jumpers (those two should just move in together already, honestly; this jumping back and forth between flats is getting a bit ridiculous).

Still, I watch his face for signs anything I should be worried about. There's this shadow lingering in the lines of his face that makes me more than a little anxious.

"Alright, Simon?" I greet him, turning my attention back to the frying pan I'm holding so he won't know I was staring.

"I've been better," He mutters in reply. "You?" I shrug, setting down the pan and facing him again.

"I'm good. Are you worried?"

Those blue eyes get as big as saucers. He glances around furtively, making sure Agatha isn't around, then steps closer to me before answering.

"Yes. Of course. Are you?" He looks over his shoulder, but I tap his cheek, turning his head back to face me.

"She's putting on makeup, Simon, you don't have to watch your back. But no, I'm not worried. Baz kicks ass." (I don't mind admitting that when Baz isn't around).

To my surprise, Simon grins. A childish, proud, shit-eating grin that sparks a responding smirk on my own lips. His entire golden face lights up the way it does whenever Baz walks into a room-- in a way it never did with Agatha.

I know, in this moment, that Simon Snow is truly happy. He's happy his life didn't end in fire and pain, like we all thought it would. He's happy he's with Baz. He's happy with his choices. He may be worried and tense and stressed and missing his boyfriend (an epithet that doesn't even begin to describe his relationship to Baz), but he really is head-over-heels in love with life. And I'm so incredibly proud of him. I was afraid there would never get to be a point in Simon's life where all was good and right.

"He does. You're right. Baz may be the world's lousiest vampire, but he sure is a kickass Mage," Simon replies, his voice all bubbling pride and poorly masked apprehension.

"You're damn right he is." I reach up and tousle his already messy curls. He steals a quick peck on my cheek.

I think, of all my siblings, Simon is my favourite. (He officially surpassed the title of pseudo-brother and was promoted to the title of official-brother a long time ago).

"You gonna eat today?" I ask, turning back to stove, watching him carefully from the corner of my eye. He shrugs, some of the tension returning to his shoulders, that harried look staining the edges of his familiar face once more. But the smile lingers in his eyes, and that's enough for me. I know he'll be okay, at least for a little while.

"Yeah. What're you making?"

"Kippers and toast. Will you go fetch Agatha?"

Simon stiffens a little, but doesn't object. He must have finally given in to the fact that she's staying here for the week and there's nothing he can do about it.

"Sure. Yeah," He replies hesitantly. I huff a sigh through my nose.

"Honestly, Simon, she's not going to bite you. Just... be nice. Pretend you never dated her."

One eyebrow raises. An almost comically contemplative look slips onto his features.

"Actually... that's not a bad idea, Penny. I'll go get her," he muses. I wave him away with the spatula I'm holding, rolling my eyes.

"Just go, you great thumping idiot."

With one last (admittedly a little more halfhearted) smile at me, Simon leaves the kitchen. Leaving me alone with my hidden worry.

———————

Author's note::

Friends, Romans, Readers; Lend me your ears. I've come to... apologize.

Hey guys! Sorry for the late update. I've had one of the most hectic weeks of my life, and that's not including me being sick. I'm going to try really hard and get this fic done by next weekend, so stay tuned!!!

Also, head over to Tapas.io and check out my new webcomic! It's called The Spell of the Dying, and it's about a genderfluid wizard who befriends and falls in love with the physical incarnation of Death. If you enjoy Snowbaz or any of the plethora of amazing works out there with the physical incarnation of death in them, then I think you'll enjoy it!

Happy thanksgiving/American removal day!
-Lefty