Simon Snow and Basilton Grimm-Pitch; the self-proclaimed super villain that almost ate up all magic and the world's friendliest, least-bloodthirsty vampire. Together they make a bit of an odd couple, but there is no doubt that they are desperately...
Baz has been home for nearly a week, and I think he's finally starting to feel his old self again. Some of his usual snark and sarcasm is back (oh, joy), and he even managed to sneer at me yesterday. He and Si have been inseparable since the moment they set foot in the flat. Baz sleeps in Simon's room, and fortunately for me they're behaving themselves (the walls of this flat aren't exactly thick). Though, I suppose I shouldn't worry about that. Simon and Baz almost always save the shenanigans for Baz's place.
I still haven't told Simon about his parents. About the Mage. About Lucy.
He's just... so happy. I don't have the heart to burst his bubble.
Besides, how will I break it to him? "Hey, Simon, Agatha accidentally discovered who your parents are, and turns out they're dead! Oh, and bonus points-- you killed your father!"
Yeah. That wouldn't end well. So for the time being, I'll keep my mouth shut.
I sigh, sitting down at the kitchen table and resting my head on my arms. Poor Simon...
"Hiya, Penny!" Chirps an abnormally-chipper voice from behind me (speak of the Devil and he shall appear...). I hear footsteps and assume Baz just joined him. Quickly, I sit up straight, erasing the stress from my face as I turn to face them.
"Hey, Simon. Hey, Baz. What did you boys do today?" I spent today visiting Agatha's mum and consoling her about Agatha's adamant determination never to return to England. Lucky me!
Baz slides into the chair next to me, wincing a little as he lowers himself down. Simon kisses the top of his head before moving to the counter to put the kettle on (electric kettles are my favourite thing).
"I took Baz down to Hyde park for a walk. We fed the ducks," Simon tells me, grabbing a few mugs. Baz grins at me.
"I had to stop Snow from taking one home. He tried to spell it invisible with that fucking godpower of his, but I saw him do it, thus foiling his evil plan to steal a duck. You know, Hyde is technically a royal park, so I'm pretty sure that's treason, you bastard!" Baz calls over his shoulder. Simon laughs and chucks a tea bag at him.
"Fuck off!"
I shake my head at the two of them, smiling.
"Crowley. You two need adult supervision-- did you storm any castles while you were out committing treason, Simon?" Simon fake pouts, handing Baz and I our tea and sitting down.
"You can't use The Princess Bride in your insults, Penny, it's not fair! Half the lines in that movie are insults!" He protests. I giggle, and Baz nearly spits out his mouthful of tea.
"'Life is pain, Highness,'" I quote back to him with a shrug. Simon laughs, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his nose scrunching up. I think Baz is going to fall out of his chair.
"'That's not very sportsman-like,'" Simon returns, determined to win this little quote-fight (he won't).
"'To the death!'" I declare, brandishing my teacup like a sword (we are actual five year olds).
"'No, to the pain!"
I am seriously concerned that Basil is going to choke to death while laughing at us. Or piss himself. Whichever comes first. At the rate he's going, he might possibly do both.
"I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase,'" I'm using my best Humperdinck voice, but frankly, it's crap. Why do I have to be the villain? (Who am I kidding, it's loads more fun to be the villain).
Simon opens his mouth to reply, but Baz places a hand on his arm, still gasping from laughing so hard. There are actual tears of mirth flowing down his cheeks.
"Simon Snow," He chokes out, "I swear to god, if you recite all of Wesley's 'to the pain' speech, I am going to take Penny's 'you need parental supervision' comment very seriously."
Simon Snow looks his boyfriend (fiancé) dead in the eye and whispers,
"As you wish."
We explode simultaneously into uncontrollable laughter. My sides begin to hurt, but I can't stop. I think Simon's stopped breathing. Baz clutches his stomach. The entire building rings with the sounds of our giggling-- I'm positive we'll get complaints from the neighbours later.
It goes on for nearly ten minutes, until all three of us are gasping for breath and holding our painful stomachs. Simon finally regains enough control over himself to sigh contentedly and say,
"Crowley, I'm so glad everything's well and good now."
All the mirth drains out of me.
I have to tell him. If I don't do it now, I never will.
I drop my gaze ashamedly down at the tabletop. Steeling myself for the pain I'm about to cause him.
"Actually, Simon... I have something I need to show you."
Slowly, I pull the wrinkled photograph out of my pocket.
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Author's note:
Firstly: My apologies for all of the Princess Bride quotes; it was on my mind and this just... kind of happened. If you haven't seen that movie, WATCH IT NOW. It's a classic, and definitely one of my favorites. At the very least read the book (though, frankly, I think I like the movie better)(which is something I RARELY ever say).
Secondly: Guys... I think the next chapter is the last one o_0 . I'll post information about the sequel on this story in a chapter after the ending, so stay tuned! Also, I would love to hear any suggestions or ideas you guys have for the sequel!
-Lefty
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