Olacaksa AŞK olsun (ona bir mektup)

Ben nereye gidiyorum

Where I'm going ?

Lets write in english, in these days, I wanted to know some secret information about him, coz I can feel that, there is something that he is suffering. When we re going to the club, when he starts to drink, when we have dinner. Second part of him is suffering. I can understand so easy but what should I do, excatly I donno! I push myself to be smart, to act smart. But now my feeling is suffering. Ok! I had love, during 2.5 years. Ok, I loved so bad. But how can I make u to feel that I'm suffering. If I'm suffering, wat are u doing next to me?
So wat we did together till now, all of them was nothing! Becoz my boyfriend still loves another girl.
What we had till this day, kissing, sex, love, everything was lie.

God! You gives me so difficult lessons. I cheated on again.

There is love wat I mean: they were in love but distance effected their relationship so the girl she choosed easy way nd she left.. He said about it, but I don believe him. This is the reason that he is suffering. Ok wat about me ? I loved so much, distance never effected my relationship, even he was not suitable for my family, I passed in front of my family, coz I loved. Till that time he cheated on me. So..... ?
Everybody has some pain. I don care about mine I can control my pain..
There is 1 question appears? If he loves you, why he lets you know that he is suffering about his past love. If someone didnt forget someone how he can love, he cannot. This is allegiance or respect or smthing, I mean nothing important. I always write how much I'm unlucky, u have to believe me. Today will be confused and painful for us. We will think about ur past, we will think about each other. So much imagination. When he said to me : first I wanted to use you to forget this girl (the sentence is continue, but I don care). This is the purpose of our relationship, I m fish. He catched me. Do you know that, when you are talking like this, u cannot imagine that how much I m suffering inside. Hot water shed from my head to my feet. I cannot breath that time. Everytime you re doing the same thing, you are talking nd I m listening. Tonight be sure that had planned for me. I planned to give you some imformation about me. But some... ) To make you the same feeling with me, I wanted to make you jealous, mad, wat I have.
We did it.
Wat you decided ? To sleep away! Hah stupid, I knew that u ll give the reaction like this, so you re thinking that u re smart I m stupid ? If you see my half naked picture with red dress in his bed what you will do? I think U ll leave me. Becoz of my past life. We were not lucky like you and your girlfriend, I never sleep with him one night and I never wear the red hot dress with him in his bed. Yea we had birthday in the restaurant, he surprised me that u cannot imagine how. Yea we had crazy times together. But finished! Can u understand what is the meaning of this word? Finish...
I invite you to be understanding guy. Andddd Even if I love you so much, right now I want to finish this relationship..