Five Minutes

Numb

She couldn't sleep. All night she spent shifting in bed, rewinding and replaying it in her head. The image of him over her making the sob rise up her throat. She swallowed and pressed her eyes shut.

No. Closing her eyes only made it worse.

It happened three hours ago, but time slowed down in her brain, torturously eating away at her. She was incapacitated in her own fears and sadness.

Veronica reached for her phone; she'd been doing that every few minutes. It was now four in the morning, though she didn't care. She had to talk to Ralston.

He'd been the last person she spoken with on the phone, so she tapped on the most recent number on her past calls list. She didn't know if he'd answer. If he didn't maybe she could leave him a message. What would she even say?

Surprisingly, he picked up immediately after the second ring. "Hey."

"You're still awake?"

"Your call woke me up," he said. His voice sounded hoarse and tired. She could detect that she'd disrupted his sleep.

"I'm sorry." She felt guilty but hearing his voice consoled her, alleviating that awful loneliness. She wished he was here with her. She wished she could cry into his arms. It was better than lying in a hotel bed, alone and hopeless.

Silence materialized. She thought the phone got disconnected or he fell back asleep. Eventually, however, his voice drilled into the quiet. "Is everything okay?"

Did she sound upset? She was fighting determinedly to stop that familiar sensation from bubbling upwards. "I'm fine," she lied. "I just... I miss you."

"I miss you too," he said. "I'm sorry I couldn't visit you these last few weeks."

"Yeah, no... it's okay. You have a lot on your plate."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She vacillated, then instantly regretted giving pause. It would likely end up alarming Ralston, which right now wasn't what she intended to do. He didn't need to have this pushed on him this late, while he was still groggy.

"I told you I'm fine," she said, feeling the tears accumulate. She thought this would give her comfort but it only exacerbated her hopelessness. With every second she found it harder not to break down and cry over the phone.

"Okay." His tone didn't suggest he actually believed her. "We could face chat."

"No, you should go back to sleep."

"Did something happen?"

"No, nothing happened. I told you... miss you. It's good to hear your voice." Her voice was cracking. "I should... sleep. I need some rest."

"Have a good night, Nicky."

"You too. Bye." She pressed the hang up button, staring at the screen for too long. Staring at the screen and watching it transform into hazy brightness amongst a dark room.

She thought back to her mannerisms and her behaviour that might have made Daniel assume she was interested him. Had she done something wrong? Was she flirtatious with him?

That wasn't possible. Veronica hadn't been friendlier with Daniel than she had been with the majority of the cast and crew; she was nice to everyone. She always thought that was proper etiquette for any good opportunity.

So why did a small voice try to convince her this was somehow her own fault? Maybe she shouldn't have been nice to him. Maybe she shouldn't have let him into her hotel room. Wasn't that an open invitation?

Her screen went blank. She dropped it into the bed and lay on her side, bringing her knees close to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs, closing her eyes.

Extraneous having wrapped production didn't end her interaction with Daniel. They would have to attend the premieres, the press tours. She'd be forced to talk about him during interviews. And she would have to put on a brace face the entire time. 

These worries buried themselves deep in her mind and kept her awake the rest of the night. Even though she'd been desperate to sleep. She thought maybe if she closed her eyes for a few hours and woke up with the sun out this would be wiped from her memory. Because it was only a nightmare.

Except it wasn't.

She hadn't even moved from the position she was in. She kept wishing over and over again that Ralston were here with her. Because of his schedule he wouldn't even be at the airport, or at home, when she got back to Los Angeles. The only upside was that he'd managed to find his filming locations within and around the district, which meant that she would at least see him at night.

This gave her time to formulate a proper way of telling him. Her concern wasn't that he wouldn't be on her side. Her unease rose at the thought of what he'd do or say to Daniel.

When she lay her legs flat and leaned over to look at her phone finally, she noticed that it was eight in the morning.

Was is possible for her to rewind back to eleven the previous night?

It hadn't even been half a day, but the wrap party seemed like it happened weeks ago. Veronica didn't even know if she was that person anymore.