Five Minutes

Dream On

A momentary rustling was heard as Ralston sat up straighter on his side of the bed. Veronica questionably frowned at him.

He released small breath, signalling his intention to speak. He was staring at her as he did this, then drew his attention down at the sheets.

This behaviour confused her. Did he want to talk or not? She knew the mannerisms and the sounds he made by now, but it was as if she were misreading the signals.

"You are going to get over it, okay?" he said.

"How do you know?" she asked again. He hadn't actually addressed her question. His assurance towards her wasn't placed with much conviction.

"When I was on the set of a film... when I was still just acting... the director and I got really close. I mean... we had a lot of stuff in common and he kept telling me that I had a lot of potential as a director." He paused a moment, like he was contemplating he next words. "I... I idolized him. And I thought if he thought I was great, then maybe I could make something of myself, you know? He helped build up confidence.

"We starting spending time together off set. He told me he saw a lot of himself in me and he thought if we put our heads together we could make something great. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was just so excited that of every actor he chose me. I was his... prodigy? I don't know. He'd always take me to house parties where I could drink. I was still underage so I got shit faced every time. I'd show up to set hungover. But I thought it was okay, you know? He'd take of care me. He'd bring me water between takes...Go easy on me.

"When we were close to wrapping he invited me to a party at his place... It was the first time he'd invited me to his own house. I was... stoked, but, when I showed up, I... I mean, he'd invited all these other guys. It was this... huge house party. He gave me a few drinks, then said he wanted to take me to his pool.

"I got there but everyone in the pool was..." He stopped, took another breath, "It was full of guys my age. And they were all naked."

Veronica's eyes widened and it took every fibre in her being not to intercept. It didn't seem like Ralston was done telling his story yet.

"I told him I didn't want to go into the pool because I didn't know how to swim. He kept insisting he'd hold me up so I wouldn't drown. I said I still didn't want to and told him I needed to leave.

"I think he laced the drinks with something because I couldn't even make it down the hallway. He came after me, said that if I wasn't feeling well he had a bed I could crash on. I can't remember a lot of what else he said but then he... he leaned forward and kissed me. I was too stunned to say anything and couldn't even move. Then he... he groped me. I pushed him away and told him I needed to leave.

"He tried to follow me out but I kept telling him I didn't want to be there and I had to go home. The day after, I was sick on set... he came up to me several times and asked me how I was doing, telling me he was sorry. And he still wanted us to be friends.

"I didn't know what to say. I was scared that if I said I didn't want to be friends that he'd try to ruin my career. I knew he could. So I lied and said sure, maybe. The last few days of filming he didn't leave me alone. He'd try to talk to me between takes. It was hard to brush him off. I was relieved when he stopped trying to keep in touch after the movie wrapped.

"I never told anyone," he said.

"Who was it?" Veronica asked, sitting up. He'd been carrying this burden for so long. Why hadn't he told her? But realistically, it was the natural reaction.

"It doesn't matter," Ralston said. "My point is that you shouldn't beat yourself up for something that's obviously not your fault."

Was that supposed to make her feel relieved? All it did was make those tears worm their way back up to her eyes. "God, Ralston, you kept something like that from me? I felt terrible keeping what happened to me from you and you kept this secret to yourself for years? What the fuck were you trying to prove? I can't believe you made me feel guilty!" Maybe that wasn't his intention but that was the assumption she was getting.

"I should've." He was staying surprisingly calm.

She didn't know what to say. She just kept crying, wondering how her tear ducts hadn't dried out yet.

"You know, you're a lot stronger than you think you are," Ralston said. "And I know you'll get through it."

He sounded so certain of it. Was she supposed to be flattered?

She didn't even know whether to be enraged or dejected. Enraged at Ralston for not telling her (but she'd done the same thing; was her anger even justified?), dejected that they both were tormented by assault. That no one was safe from being harassed. From having their lives ripped into shreds.