Mixed Messages ~ {d.w}

➵Twenty Three

I hadn't realized I was eating a sandwich until I looked away from a screen. It was only a moment but I caught the round plate and the bread crumbs spread all over it.

When I look out the window, all I can see are the stars with the dark sky. It's late at night, completely dead in the night. Sighing, I push the empty plate away. It was delicious, but I didn't deserve it.

Damian shouldn't be so nice to me. I basically ruined his life. He and his family could be killed and it could be my fault. My fault. I've done horrible things before, but never like that. I'm not an assassin at heart, I'm not as heartless as I wish. I hate feeling so emotional.

My computer was loading another set of algorithms. This was the third one today that I had redone. This takes so much time. Usually I do one then start on another, not do this many. At this rate, my fingers will die and fall off. Gross.

I lean my head back against the wall. I had been hunched in a corner all day, just sitting against the wall. I look towards the bed. I hadn't used it. I also hadn't slept in days. I set my computer aside on the ground, stretching my arms up high. My back and neck cracked. It hurt but it'll feel better soon. I look around the room, just decorate with different things. Expensive things. I never cared for things like that. It was useless, just for show purpose. There was a small picture on the desk.

It looked like an old family photo. Curiosity got the better of me and I ended up taking a closer look. It was taken before Tim and Damian come along. Richard looks younger and Jason looks to still be Robin. I didn't know much about them. Those two don't come around here as much as they used too. I used to see them all the time but ever since Jason came back from the dead and Richard moved out, they don't come around.

Jason... the name sounded familiar. No, it was more than familiar. I sped over to my computer, thinking the worst. Ever since I left for Cyber, I changed my last name but I never removed my family name. I just hyphened it. Todd. That was the last name I was born with. I don't know why I never bothered to get rid of it. It's not like my family would ever want me again. Besides, Cyber wouldn't allow me to have a family and I had heard news that they were all dead.

My computer opens up, still loading some more programs. This was going to take forever but I didn't have the time. I wouldn't be able to sneak into the Batcave and search for it. I'd be caught and questioned. I'm just lucky Batman hasn't forced me to show him everything about myself and my work. Not that I'd ever allow him to see anything. Over my dead body.

I push the programs aside, holding off on the downloading for a few minutes. My fingers moved on their own, typing in the name "Jason Todd." I didn't know what I was doing. Why was I doing this. There shouldn't be anything. There couldn't be anything. My family's gone.

No they aren't.

I knew my parents.

Willis Todd and Catherine Todd. It says so on my birth certificate.  I never questioned my parents. I never dug into information about them. I never had a reason too. They threw me out, left me for dead. I never wanted anything to do with them.

My heart stops when I read Jason's birth certificate. No. My heart bursts. He shared my father, not my mother.