Stick to the Shadows (HxH)

13: Kill

Rilluma's P.O.V 

When I woke up, Killua was still asleep. I don't see how, Leorio was snoring so loud. I decided that since I can no longer sleep, I might as well get up and walk around. I stood stretching my arms and yawning. Then I walked out of the room and went down the hall, not knowing that Kurapika was following me. 

I didn't know where on the ship I was going, but I didn't really care. I'm not scared of anyone on the ship, except for maybe me. I can't get the needle out of my head without asking for help. I don't want to tell Killua that I asked for help from my brother. 

I made my way down the blimp's halls until I came to a dead end. It was completely sorrounded with windows that let you see the bright lights of the city below. The lights is a good distraction. They're calming to watch. That's a big thing for me to. Finding something that calms me down is a rare experience. Then that experience ended.

"Your up early." I swung my head around baring my teeth. Then I noticed it was just Kurapika. I narrowed my eyes and breathed in trying to avoid getting worked up. My teeth shrunk back down and I kept my gaze on him. 

"You shouldn't scare me." I told him.

"I suppose that would be wise, considering your personality." he said back with a small smile. I couldn't help but growl at his comment. What does he mean by personality? I can't be that bad? Granted I try to kill things, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. 

"Is that a threat." It sounded more like a statement then a question. I don't know what I was expecting him to do. Fight me? Run? Stand there shocked? No. He just spoke with a soft voice like he was trying to calm a wild animal. 

"No. I'm just agreeing with you." he said. For a moment. I stopped growling. I stood there in the silence of surprise. 

"Look. I don't try to be this way." I growled. 

"I understand that. . . . More than you know." My eyes softened. "I know what's it like to feel so much rage that you lose yourself in it. You noticed it yourself, remember." I do remember all of that. When Kurapika and I was taking turns answering questions. That was when I refused to tell him my line of work. 

"Just because you know what it feels like doesn't mean I'm going to get all mushy mushy with all of that stuff. A lot of people have a bad past. We are on Earth anyway. It's a place of chaos and strive." he nodded sadly looking down at the ground. 

"Look Rilluma. I know that you don't want to tell me all of your secrets, but If you don't tell me anything I can't find a way to help." he said softly.

"I don't want your help." I said narrowing my eyes. 

"Is this about your line of work?" I flinched and held still for a moment. I've never thought that maybe I'm like this cause of my work as an assassin. I always thought that it was just bad luck. I was that one out of a billion that got stuck with a brain that thinks this way. Maybe it was my up bringing that caused this.

"Sorry." I said. "I'm trying to stop acting like this, but I just can't go and change the way I think. I can't just jump up and say to hell with it all. I'm just not that kind of person." I said. 

"What have you done so far." 

"Taking some emergency pills to calm me down, and just keeping my emotions under control. I'm not sure if there is anything else for me to do at this point." 

"It seems odd. If you don't want to do something then how does your body do it. It makes no sense." He knows. Your revealing too much. The voice rang in my head. Illumi you need to stop. This isn't what I wanted. Your pushing me to much.

"I don't know. I just know it happens and it needs to stop." I told him trying to block Illumi out of my head. It didn't work. I couldn't do anything. He just clouded my mind and I couldn't think straight. You know. One order from me and you could do it. 

No. Stop it. I don't want this. Just one little order from me and your friend will die. Stop. By your hands. My heart sank. He was going to do it. He was going to and I couldn't stop it. All of my willpower has left me the moment that stupid needle was put in my head. I'm going to do it Rill. 

Everything in my mind is being locked away. Kill. Kill. Kill. That is what I'm supposed to do. That is what I was born for. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. That is how I was raised. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. All I can ever do right is kill. That is my strength. Kill. Kill. Kill. I'm not in control. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. I've never been, nor ever will be, in control. Kill. Kill. Kill. 

Everything that I have done up until now has revolved around one thing. It's been for the purpose to kill. Everything that I have done, has been about killing. Everything that he wants me to do. Everything that they want. Everything they deserve. Everything I want. 

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.

Kill him Rilluma. 

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Word Count: 1033