Inked Parchment (formerly: Unspoken Words)

Who is She? (Spoken Word Poetry)

Who is She?
Gayle Palaca

There she is again staring out of nowhere

She stayed in that position as time flies

Feeling all messed up obviously with the dark circles surrounding her eyes

Cause every day, something inside her slowly dies

There's not a day when she doesn't shed a tear inside her dark room

She always feels extremely sad and lonely

I hate to see her cry

It's not that she doesn't want to be happy

It's just that all her thoughts are filled with melancholy

I don't know why

I watched her as she walked back and forth inside her room

She moves with haste like she's in doom

She seems so troubled with something I can't figure out

Mouthing senseless words coming from her mouth

She suddenly stopped from her tracks and her face relaxed

Her face turned blank and all her feelings just sank

Her face full of misery turned into something much scary

She finally figured out what to do, I guess

Maybe she found a solution to be out of this mess

While she constantly pulls on her hair

Rivers of tears fall from their lair

As she remembers what she had to suffer everyday

The things that make her think if it's still worth to stay

Every day she wakes up

Looking at her life, thinking it's all crap

Every day she goes to school

All the kids call her fool

Every time she lays in bed

Wondering where her thoughts might led

Every time she sleeps at night

Dreaming where to find the light

Every time she feels like giving up

Her demons awake and push her up

But every time she feels hope

Dark clouds surrounds her and her demons tell her, "Nope."

And instantly, she's holding a rope

She mustn't listen to their voices

She mustn't give in to their orders

All the demons inside her rejoices

As they push her to make those choices

With trembling hands, she tries to do it again

She grabbed a chair and a rusty chain

Trying to forget the pain

With this dumb idea of taking her life in vain

I want to help her but I can't

All I can do is watch her

No! Don't do that! I want to scream!

I want to think that all of this is just a dream

But all my words just fell on deaf ears

She's too drowned with her thoughts and too slaved with her fears

Because darkness is all she sees

And silence is all she hears

She closed her eyes and was ready to let go of the ties

She took a deep breath and was too close to death

When suddenly, her eyes grew big with overflowing horror

As she saw in front of her a very clear mirror

A mirror that wasn't there before

A mirror that sees through her soul

A mirror that sees not only her but more

I saw her in that mirror

Yes, it's her

She's standing on a chair

Yes, it's her

She's about to hang herself

Yes, it's her

I looked closer in the mirror and she looked back at me

Who is she?

She's sad, vulnerable, lonely

Nothing in her screams with glee

I keep convincing myself that it's her that I see

But wait, is that... me?

She wants to die

I want to survive

She's trying to say goodbye

But I'm holding onto the knives

I don't want to be her

Why can't we just have separate lives?

I can't control myself anymore

All I want is to be free, I just want this to end

I don't know what I'm doing

How could I mend?

I can't think straight

This sadness, absence of gladness, and absolute madness

All I want to do is to end it all

And all of my demons are at the peak of my downfall

Depression is living in a body that's fighting

With a mind that's dying

I'm lying and smiling to keep from me crying

But it doesn't mean I'm not trying

Behind my smile is a hurting heart

Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart

Look closely at me and you will see

The person I am... isn't me

---

WHO IS SHE
Spoken Word Poetry
Theme: Depression
Written by Gayle Palaca

[Credits to the rightful owner of the photo in the media section]