Being In the Mekakushi Dan!

The Right Decision?

Emiko's P.O.V.

In the taxi, I was silently listening to music and admiring the scenery. I couldn't be bothered talking to Ayaka even if she asked me a question. I was so angry and frustrated with myself for everything I've done to Hiyori-nee-chan.

'I was a horrible sister.. '

Those words kept repeating over and over again. I couldn't deny that. I left my sister all alone just to see Ayaka. I didn't consider her feelings, not even hesitated for a moment.

Yet, why did I start to sob? Why did tears streamed down my face? It's my fault things turned out like this.

I shouldn't cry...

Yet...

I could hear my heart shattering into millions of pieces. The inner me  screaming in regret, so loudly that it was deafening.

It felt like a long and dreading journey back home. I didn't want to see anyone... I didn't want to talk to anyone.. I wanted to be by myself and just reflect. But it's not like anyone would allow me to. Especially since I'm only 11.
Then all of sudden, the taxi stopped. It turned out that we already arrived home. I quickly rubbed off my tears, got out off the taxi and knocked on the door quickly. Ayaka didn't comfort me or ask me anything.

'Maybe she wants me to calm my thoughts first?'

Ayano opened the door and let me in.  She asked me if anything happened and advised me to eat my dinner first since it is already 7.p.m. and everyone had already eaten dinner.

I was hungry... But I didn't had any appetite to eat.

I had a lot of thoughts going through my head. But I didn't want to tell Ayano.
Not yet.

"I'm fine, Ayano! Thanks for offering! But, I'm not hungry. I'll be up in my room to change!" I lied.

Ayano called my name but Ayaka stopped her as they both went to the living room.

It must be fun huh? Spending time together like this?

When I went into my room, I locked the door and changed my clothes. Suddenly, without any warning, tears streaming.
It became a little.
Then more.
Then more.
Then more.
Until, I eventually broke down. Crying because of Hiyori. I was in confusion. I thought I could make things right by finding Ayaka. I thought I could maybe do something beneficial.

I totally screwed up everything.

Everything I did was for nothing.

I could have called her. But I doubt she would answer it. Or even bother to answer it. Besides, I didn't want to make her more angrier. I didn't want to show my anger and frustration to her either. I didn't want to hear her reaction at all.

She could be holding a grudge against me. And I didn't want to elevate her anger.

I would want to talk to her. But it wouldn't be the appropriate time.

'Not now. Not yet.'

It took quite a while for my tears to dry up and for me to calm down. I began using my phone and watched soms videos to entertain myself. Just using it as a distraction to forget my worries. My eyes started to become heavy and before I knew it, I was already fast asleep.