For The Love Of The Game

Chapter Eleven

It was Monday and I was allowed to go back to school, I still couldn't drive so I felt like a kid again as Emily drove me.

The conversation we had never came back up, but I could feel myself trying to distance myself from her. I hadn't let her snuggle anymore on the couch, and my responses became shorter. She kept asking me if she had done something, but I kept reassuring her she hadn't.

I was walking down the halls and instead of seeing kids happy, I saw most of them looking at me with pity.

By now the whole school probably knew the story, two good football players, one accused of rape, the other the unwilling victim.

I watched as some leaned over to whisper to their friends, I pulled my hood over my head, and placed in my ear buds. Maybe coming back was not a good idea but I needed to get this over with.

No one really spoke, the teachers gave me sympathetic looks, and I was already tired of it before I even got to Emily's class for the first time.

She was standing in the hall way, I gave her a half hearted smile before entering, I felt a hand grab my wrist, and in that moment I was back in the locker room. I spun slapping the hand away that had grabbed me, unfortunately it was Emily's.

Her face was shocked until she saw mine, tears streamed down my face as she realized what just happened. "RJ I'm so sorry I wasn't thinking."

I was still just froze in place, I had my back to the students thankfully so they couldn't see me crying. Emily took a step towards me, and I just help up mine hand to stop her.

She was close enough to whisper so others couldn't here, "RJ it's me, look at me I'm not going to hurt you."

I looked up and came into view of those crystal eyes, my heart rate slowed some, I just nodded my head and headed to my desk.

I laid my head on my desk, my hood covering my face, and my music in my ears. I would never disrespect a teacher like this but I needed time, and Emily knew it. She didn't even bother me until the bell had rang.

I saw her waiting in the hall dismissing her next class to the gym. The door closed shut, and her heels clicked slowly as she walked to my desk. "RJ."

I didn't move, "I'm such an idiot."

She grabbed a chair sitting beside me, she was close I could feel it. "You are not an idiot, your going through exactly what I told you would happen.

I'm assuming people have been staring and whispering. People probably looking at you like you just lost your cat, but RJ what you are feeling right now in this very moment, it's ok."

I shifted a little in my desk, "how's it okay Emily?"

She placed her hand softly on my shoulder, "because I'm here, I'm here for you RJ I have been from day one."

I looked up, I knew my eyes were red and puffy, "that's another thing, I know you've been nothing but good to me, but I'm scared."

She tilted her head to the side as her brown hair cascaded down her shoulder, "of what?"

I looked away but she brought her fingers under my chin making me look back at her, "I'm scared your going to get tired of this, of me, and," I paused for a moment. "I'm scared your going to hurt me too."

She removed her hand from my face, her icy blue eyes searching mine, " RJ I would never ever intentionally hurt you, and I would never physically harm you in any way."

I placed my face in my hands, "my heart it tells me you won't, but my brain won't stop. I'm fucked up, from my parents dying, to Alice, and now Eric. I am completely overwhelmed with everything that has happened in just a months time."

She leaned back in her chair before continuing, "it's time I told you a story. You knew I was raised in foster care but you don't know why. My real parents well they liked their drugs. One night they didn't have any money, the man with the drugs told them if they'd let him spend some time with me he would give them the drugs.

I was 6 when that happened, I was finally removed a year later. I hated men, they scared me, and I didn't trust anyhody, until my Foster parents showed me what love was suppose to be from a mother and father.

Once in college it happened again, my friend talked me into going to a frat party, someone slipped something into my drink, I was raped that night, and unfortunately they never found out who.  I've been where you are RJ, I was fucked up, and some nights I still am.

If it wasn't for my family and their support I don't think I would be where I am today. You'll never forget the pain of anything, but with time it gets easier I promise. Having someone who truly cares about you, will ride with you through your ups and downs, and I promise you, I will always be here for you."

Her story captivated me, and with that all the fear of her hurting me disappeared as well. I leaned over placing my head on her shoulder as her arms wrapped around me, "thank you."

She pulled me closer and turned her face into my neck, "always, I promise always."

I was watching the team practice, it killed me to be on the side lines, but I still had 3 more weeks before I could even consider it. Thankfully the rest of our schedule should be easy, so making it back in time for the playoffs refreshed wasn't looking so bad.

Thankfully the coach or the other guys didn't seem mad or bothered by the incident. Coach just told me to get better, and my team mates were working their asses off for the up coming game.

Emily sat in the stands grading papers I guess, I had begged to let me come I guess she really thought I was going to practice or something. We finally came to an agreement, which I knew I would win anyways.

Once practice was over she was waiting for me at the fence, "I saw some sparkle in your eyes RJ."

I looked around, "I think this right here will always be my happy place."

Once we got home, we both changed and I laid across the mattress on the floor, Emily went to the kitchen and made snacks, before the game came on. The Cowboys were playing the Texans.

She joined me on the mattress with the food and drinks, "did I do something to make you think I would hurt you?"

I finished eating my chip before I spoke, "no I just let my mind run out of control. My parents, and Eric hurt me physically, and Alice hurt me emotionally. The problem was to me the pain was the same, and I didn't want it to happen again.

So I tried to distance myself and place my walls back up, but you were already in and I knew pushing you away would cause more pain."

She smiled before she ruffled my hair, "well I'm glad that head of yours finally made sense."

I looked at her with a shocked faced and she just started laughing, "oh come on Rj can't take a joke."

I stuck my tongue out her, before putting more chips in my mouth. Her facial expression changed and she just shook her head. "Why did you look at me like that?"

She shook her head, " I'm not telling you."

I groaned, "come on Emily tell me please." I stuck my bottom lip out trying to pout and be cute.

"It was inappropriate and doesn't need to be said."

I looked shocked, "oh you definitely have to say it now."

Her eyes found mine, "I was gonna say to not stick that out at me if you don't plan on using it. That's why I stopped myself, because it didn't need to be said."

My mouth formed the word oh but nothing came out, before I glanced away and put my attention on to the tv.

The mood in the room became tense and I couldn't handle it anymore, "well I've never had complaints on how I've used it before so."

Now it was her turn to be shocked before we both started laughing, I know I shouldn't have said it. I just couldn't help it, I didn't like it when she got so up tight, I knew she liked me, and I had a feeling Emily Connors knew I liked her as well.