paper crown (been rewritten better under the name "Wonderwall - mclennon")

chapter 8

  John's pov

  "I'm hungry."

  Paul whimperd before he broke. Dropping to the floor and curling into a ball. His shaking hands coming to hold onto his hair. His grip still weak even though it looked as if it took so much effort just to bring his hands to his head.

  My heart felt a sharp pang of pain. I didn't know where to start. What to do. How to make Paul feel better.

  If he was hungry why hadn't he of eaten earlier? When I asked him to? Carefully, trying not to frighten him, I knelt down in front of my shaking band mate. His hands came away from his hair with minimal effort yet he stayed in a ball shaking.
  He looked tiny. Literally tiny. I wouldn't be surprised if he weighed less than our girlfriends when we were Young. He was so fragile as if he was going to snap if I spoke a little to hard.

  "You're hungry? Macca? Ok darling lets sit up, yeah? We can go get you something to eat."

  My hand gently grabbed his shoulder as I moved him onto his back. The poor boy was shivering in the cold from still being in only his underwear but this gave me a good look at how skinny my friend really was.
 
  Just skin. Meat wasn't on him at all. I could count all his ribs even in this dimly lit bathroom. His stomach just caved in to inches thick before his hip bones pretruded out.

  He wasn't going to walk. I knew he probably could walk if he wanted to but just how he looked into my eyes with shame and hurt and how child like and little he looked in front of me made me fill with an urge to protect. To take him under my care and make him healthy again.

  How could I have let him get so skinny? How could he let himself get so skinny? We had so much to talk about.

  After a few minutes of soothing my shaking band mate the best I could I managed to scoop him into my arms and lift him up, bridal style. He was super light. It almost felt as if I was carrying Cynthia if she had been a little lighter.
  He hid his tear stained face in my shoulder as I moved him to the bed. We're still leaving at four tommorow so I doubt we will be able to go far for something to eat so perhaps we should stay in and see what's in the fridge.
  I glaced at the clock that was sitting on Paul's ends bedside table. It read 2:11AM, so I had time I guess if I could get Paul up and out for food quick enough. Not much sleeping was going to get done tonight, knew that for a fact now, so I think it's best I treat Paul to something he likes.

  "Chips?"

  I asked Paul softly while rummaging through my suitcase for the big hoodie aunt Mimi had baught and made me pack. I thought it was useless really as it was so thick and heaps big but she kept saying 'it'll keep you warm, John.' so I brought it.
  I guess it did come in handy now. Additionally, I pulled out some thick black denim jeans aswell that were FAR to tight on me. I don't know what Cynthia was thinking when she baught these for me but that's not important. They'll fit Paul pretty well right now.

  "What's that?"

  I asked. Not hearing a response from Paul when I asked if he wanted some chips. I saw a 24 hour place that serverd "British styled fish 'n' chips" in the taxi a few minutes away from the hotel so I guess that's the best place to go. When Paul was sad fish and chips was always the perfect comfort food I got him so it only seemed logical to give it to him now.
 
  "Yeah."

  He murmured as he pulled the jumper from my arms, I let him take it from me and watched as his arms lifted above his head to pull it on. Showing me his tiny frame once more.
    I handed him his jeans next and he slipped into them. They where a tiny, tiny bit loose on him but they fit a load better than they did on me.

  "Well that's sorted. Go get your shoes and we can leave, good thing I slept in this shit isn't it."

  I tried to lighten the mood as I slipped my shoes on and walked over to my side of the bed to retrieve my jacket I had thrown off before. Meanwhile Paul laughed suttletly yet genuinely as he put his shoes on aswell before he made his way to the door. Wiping dried tears from his cheeks as he did so to look more presentable.
  He wasn't shaking anymore. He had calmed down mostly and was in the "Paul's upset" mood I was very much familiar with. Just quiet and wanting to do something. I could deal with this much better. I had been doing so for years.

  The fact he was laughing at all after that was great though. I didn't want to embarrass him or baby him by dressing him either. He was a grown up and I wanted to keep treating him that way. If I where in the same situation as him I'd only want to me taken sirously aswell.

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