paper crown (been rewritten better under the name "Wonderwall - mclennon")

Chapter 12

  I didn't speak for a few seconds. Instead I just sat in silence and let the words sink in. Yeah I had always knew since we met again after our first meeting at the village fate that he cared about me. It was just instant. We bonded over the death of our mother's and smoked together. He had always cared but just hearing him say those words. I never knew he cared like that. It was a bother caring. Not a way of caring like this was.
  I didn't even know what to say. I just sort of  steard at the grimey floor until I felt a strong arm come around me and pull me closer to John. So close I could feel his beating heart against my shoulder. I had to say something, that much was clear, but perhaps that something had to be the truth.

  "I just wanna be pretty"

  I whispered before I turned and hid my face in the crook on his shoulder. John didn't move a muscle and it's not cirten if that was a good or bad thing. Whatever the reaction was I didn't want to see it. I never wanted anyone to know in the first place. And now John knew the truth about my cheating and ringo had...noticed?

  "You were pretty before though. And healthy."

  John whispered back. His soft hand running up and down my back as I attempted to blink away the tears forming on my eyes. I didn't want to cry twice in once night, if I could help it, but the emotions were just to strong and I was honestly just a huge mess of stress, guilt and tiredness.
  I knew what John was getting at. What I was doing wasn't healthy, and I wasn't going to deny it, but it somewhat nessacery. If you look at something long enough you start to think it's beautiful. John's been looking at this mess for years now of course he was going to think I was pretty. But on first glance. I sure as hell wasn't.
  I looked at John through my tear obstructed vision. His hand was still heavy on my back comforting me while he looked at me with messy hair, dry skin and worried eyes. He looked a mess, yet still somehow beautiful.

  "I'm not Johnny. Please don't lie to me."

  I looked down at my knees as a few years escaped my eyes. John's rhythmic rubbing on my back stalled and messed up for a second as I spoke. I felt small and weak letting my guard down like this but there was no way out know. John wouldn't stop worrying and pressing till he knew everything.

  "Macca, I'm not lying. You are!"

  John said softly. Now stopping his arms and instead wrapping it around my waist and onto my bony hip. I wanted to shift and move his hand away but I just couldn't. I needed this as strange as it sounded.

  "Look. I can't see you're tired but we have minutes until the rest wake up. How about you keep those pretty eyes open a little longer and then you can sleep on the plane Yeah? Maybe have a little nap in the taxi. We'll talk more about this when we're home."

  John spoke just as a taxi flew past on the road. Bringing me out of my emotional state and back to reality. I stoop up and John joined me as we slipped back towards your hotel room to change clothes and all that. The fact I had to talk about this again stayed on my mind. I hated this. I also hated not knowing when it would be just like I hated not knowing my weight. It had probably gone up since I ate those chips...

  Now isn't the time to think about that though.

  "How do I stay awake?"

  I asked. I was defiantly tired. Lack of sleep, lack of food and defiantly no lack of stress just made me want to sleep. But I can't do that until we we're on the plane.

  "Just think about something."

  John said simply as he pushed the hotel door open. Revealing the almost untouched state we left it in. Georges and ringo was probably a mess. beer cans, tea cups and my half a digestive I wouldn't eat.

  "Like What?"

  I asked

  "Like this."

  John said as he backed me up against the now closed door. My mind couldn't process what was happening until I suddenly felt hid lips on mine. My mind went black. All my worries floated away.

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  This took days because again writers block but at least I have something up