swxtched. | jhs

HEROINE (2)

THAT BREAK, GREEN and Hoseok spent their Christmas and New Year with their families, and Yoongi even stayed then for those holidays. After New Year, Green and Yoongi left the house and spent the day together, when she noticed that he dyed his hair again to a mint green, lighter than the green highlight streaks in Taehyung's hair when they last met.

"We're just supporting our ship," Yoongi teased, making Green as pink as his last hair color.

"W-What do you mean?" she stammered, knowing exactly what he meant.

"G-Hope. It's funny."

"But what does having green hair have to do with—"

"God, you're hopeless."

He dropped her off at Hoseok's house, where they went on a road trip to Busan. Hoseok was ecstatic the entire time, like an overhyped puppy, rapping and singing to songs on the radio and his parents enjoying Green's company.

"I've seen you a couple times before at our home," the father said, grinning wide. "Tell us about yourself, Geurin-ah. I know you like meat from last time you had dinner with us."

Green smiled back. She loved Hoseok's family.

"Well," she started, "my family likes meat in general. But I used to be really into music. I learned how to play the piano with my brother, and would watch him make his own music."

"Is that right? Hoseokie wants to do that too," he chuckled, "stuff with music and dance. The arts. But I told him to find a stable career first that could support his passions first, like healthcare or law, or even engineering! Hoseokie, didn't you like trains and computers when you were younger? You can always learn how to build them and earn a lot of money from that."

Hoseok visibly stilled at that, itching for his phone to ignore the conversation. Green noticed this and swallowed thickly, catching on fast that he didn't like where the topic was headed. His mother seemed to notice this as well.

"If you don't mind me asking, I'm curious about your arm. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it though," his mother said without thinking, making warning glances at her husband.

For Hoseok's sake, Green decided to answer, "No, it's fine. I had bone cancer eat up my arm last year. We amputated it last summer because it was basically useless and it also could've spread. That's mainly why my dreams for pursuing music were cut short."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said with a frown and a vicariously misty look.

Green glanced at Hoseok again and faltered. He was staring at her without backing down, eyes locked and causing stomach flips and heart palpitations. His expression was so unreadable that she dared to squint at him for a second, just to dig into his sealed emotions.

Had she never told him the things she just said? When she thought about it, she really hadn't, which was absurd to her.

When they reached Busan, it was too cold to go to the beautiful beaches or stay outside for too long, but Hoseok nonetheless dragged Green to many different photoshoot-esque places to take pictures. The lights were still up, it was evening when they were done sightseeing, and he wouldn't stop rubbing warmth into her hand as he held it.

She used to think that holding hands with Jung Hoseok would be tight, like he wouldn't want to let her go. Kind of like his hugs. But she was pleasantly surprised— his hand holding hers was gentle, like she was fragile, and it was heartwarming. Even his little squeezes were soft and so loving.

While his parents walked ahead, Hoseok murmured into her ear, breath warm on her frostbitten skin, "Do you find it weird how long we've lasted?"

Green stopped thinking.

"You know, with the switching thing? We haven't switched since my accident. It's funny, I thought you were a dream too, a long dream at that... until the first person who visited me when I woke up was you."

Her lungs tried to take in air, throat dry. It wasn't my imagination?

"To be honest, at that moment, I just wanted to kiss you. I couldn't believe it. Geurin, I know you probably don't like me back that way and you're just happy that I'm not dead for now, and that's why you're doing all this for me, but—"

"What are you talking about?" She laughed in disbelief and astonishment up at him. "I like you so much that I forget my own name. I might die of a heart attack, or strangle myself to understand why. If I didn't like you, why would I agree to be out of town with you and your family?"

Hoseok was so caught off-guard by her words that he nearly lost his footing on a small crack in the sidewalk. He suddenly stopped and took her face in his hands, admiring her features in distraction before shaking his head.

"Are you serious, Geurin? You can't joke like this," he said sternly, eyebrows furrowed. Green reached up to push his brows up where they connected.

"Oh yes, I like to fxck with your feelings for fun every once in a while."

"Geurin. I'm serious."

She sighed, her left hand wishing to smother her face, "Oh god. It's hard to repeat what I said without, I don't know, spontaneously combusting or something."

"When did you start liking me?" he resorted to, still clearly jittery from the revelation.

"Let me see." Green's eyes drifted to the side, thinking, as she instead curled her left fingers on his wrist. "Maybe when I saw you perform at the dance competition. I thought I was really lucky that out of all people, or all guys I guess, I switched bodies with you. A healthy, respectful boy."

He chuckled. "Your body was so weak before I helped you out."

"Sorry about that," she murmured sheepishly, as if she just realized that.

"Don't apologize. I did notice something though," he said, leaning closer until their noses could almost touch. "Your feet. They're a bit rusty, but they've been broken. They're beautifully ugly with callouses on your toes."

What?

"Traces of your love for music are all around the house. And I found something golden in the cabinet next to your bookshelf."

Green flinched.

"You know what I'm talking about, right?" Hoseok grinned from ear to ear. "You used to do ballet, Geurin."

"Used to are the key words," she muttered, closing her eyes. It was her turn to furrow her brows and his to push them up.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you," he whispered, thumbing her cheek. "Look at me."

She opened her eyes, and found herself staring at a serious expression.

"Heroine. That was the title of your last dance competition, right? Competing with other girls in a solo contemporary."

"Did you watch it?" she asked softly, tentatively, even when she knew the answer.

"You won and earned your scholarship," he answered indirectly, leaning close again, "but you gave it up, didn't you? I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," she sighed. "My arm disappointed everyone because I can't dance anymore. Or play the piano. I wouldn't be surprised if you were disappointed too."

"You're being unreasonable. Why would I be?" He took her other hand, her prosthetic hand that had no human warmth at all on it, and kissed it.

Her heart was racing.

"I've danced in your body. You still feel it. I told you all of this to ask that you don't push it away, because I like you a lot. I hate seeing you lost and sad."

"I'm not that sad," she scoffed, smiling dully.

"Can I make you happy?"

Green pushed him playfully away before he could kiss her, as she walked ahead and realized that they lost his parents.

•

❝ i've fallen to pieces and i won't be whole until you let me in. ❞
『 written on 2017.10.18. | 2017.11.13. 』

【 NOTE—oh hello feels i've been waiting for you 】