Always, HIS Curvy Luna?!

CHAPTER 2: What Is Wrong With Me?!

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        It's been almost a couple of weeks since the last time I have seen Kristy.

         I have tried not to think about her, but I see her everywhere I look. She's in all my dreams and even when I close my eyes for a short while, I see her.

         I have isolated myself from everyone. Not just Kristy.

         Well, other than the occasional talks with Will, the pack and my parents. At least for now. For just until I figure things out.

          Now, I know that leaving her was a cowardly thing to do and really stupid and pathetic and well, I could just go on forever. But what can I say? I'm not as strong when it comes to her. She makes me weak. But not in a bad way. She's the only weakness I really have and I feel as though I'm a failure. That I have failed my Luna. That I have ruined her life and that I'm the reason she is in that bed, that she lost our child and I am the reason she may never remember me, Cynthia, Will, or Us. And that terrifies me more than anything.

          As a man, I can't face someone that I love and that owns my heart, I can't look them in the eyes the same. As a failure. As someone that was supposed to protect her and our unborn child, and I couldn't.

         I already know how this all must look to the council as me being an Alpha and how they must be ashamed of me. Even my parents must be disappointed.

         It's a bit crazy and yet at the same time, a bit amazing how one person can change your life for the better. How one person can bring out the side of you that you never knew you had.

         As I sit here, feeling sorry for myself for the first time, I can't help but also think that of all the things I should be worrying about right now such as the Pack, my parents, the council and many other things, the only thing I can really and truly worry about is her. 

        Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by my mother's voice as she begins to link minds with me.

ME: Hello mother. What is it?

MOM: Well, I know you don't wan't me to tell you but I'm just going to tell you that she is awake.

ME: That's good. Does she remember anything?

MOM: No. Not entirely. The doctor says, however, that she's been having certain dreams that he believes are memories, yet she doesn't know who anyone is. She does, however, mention you. Well, not your name of course, just the 'Sexy Guy' in her dreams.

ME: (I start to laugh) Yeah, well, I don't know if I'm coming back.

MOM: I know. But you really must think this through. Even if she does begin to remember and then she see's you are not there, what then? What do we tell her?

ME: That unfortunately, I was too much of a coward to stick around. I don't know, something to help her move on. Mom I need to go, I will talk to you later. Love you.

        Then before she could answer, I disconnected from her and turned it off to where if anyone wanted to reach me, it would need to be by phone.

        I plopped down onto the couch and laid my head back with my hands over my face and tried to stop myself from crying before falling asleep.

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A couple weeks later

        A few weeks have passed since I've been up here and haven't spoken to anyone yet, still. Well, since my mom of course.

        I had just come back from a couple hours run in the woods and as soon as I approached the back door of the cabin, I had noticed that the door was opened a little bit.

        I began sniffing around and recognized the scent. It was Will.

        As soon as I walked inside, I saw him come walking out of the kitchen with a sandwich.

        "Hey man." He says with a mouthful.

        "What the hell are you doing here? How did you even get in?" I asked him.

        "Your mom gave me the spare key. She wanted me to come check on you." He says as he takes a seat in the recliner.

         I then walk over towards the couch and sit across from him, while trying to catch my breath.

         "I told her and you that I didn't want to be bothered. So why the hell are you here?!" I asked him again in a more demanding tone.

          "I know." He says as he finishes his last bite and sits back. "But seriously, you need to think about coming back."

          "I told you I can't." I remind him.

          "You mean, you won't." He corrects.

          I look at him, knowing that he's right but wont tell him that.

          "It's just that..." I begin before he interrupts me.

          "Look. I know that you think that Kristy being in the hospital, losing the baby and losing her memory temporary, is your fault, but it isn't. And she WILL remember. And when she does, how do you think she will feel, knowing that you weren't there. She loves you. And her dreams..." he began but I stopped him.

          "I know. My mom already told me." I tell him.

         "You know, we will always be there for her and for you of course. And we will help her in every way possible. And forgive me for saying this but, you seriously need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be a man. Be with the woman that you love. I mean, shit, you've talked about marrying her and everything. Aren't you supposed to stick by her side? That's love, right?" He said, though, towards the end his voice was raised a little bit.

          "I think you should leave." I tell him calmly while trying not to blow up and start to go off on him and say things we don't mean, out of anger at each other.

         "Why can't you just admit it?" He says.

         "I SAID LEAVE!!!!" I growled at him. Which I never have before.

         He wasn't scared. Instead he just shook his head at me in disappointment.

         He then walks towards the door and as he opens it up, he looks back at me real quick.

         "You're right. You don't deserve her." He says in a calm tone before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

          To which as soon as the door slams shut behind him, I lose it. I start throwing things around the house and breaking things.

        WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHY AM I SO SCARED TO FUCKING LOVE HER!! Why the hell does she love me?! I start yelling out except towards the end, I fall down to the ground while leaning against the wall and I start crying harder than I ever have in my life.

Next chapter will be posted soon! :)