Good Girl.

-15-

"maybe you should talk to him...you know he's sorry...regrets everything...you should've saw him when I went over there"

"Look Derek...be my friend right now okay?...my friend...who doesn't talk about my ex boyfriend...I don't want to hear about Nate this Nate that ever okay...I deadass wanna go stay with my mom"

"Isn't she far?"

"Yea that's the point...no more Nate...no more high school bitches jealous because I had him...no more of m supposed friends talking about fucking Nate!"

"I'm just sayi-"

"MY LIFE DKENST FUCKING REVOLVE AROUND NATE OKAY!" I yelled getting up

I stormed down the hall to my old room and collapsed on the bed crying.

In Front of people I'm being all hard and tough about the situation but really I just wanna kill myself...I feel trapped...and I thought breaking up would do something ...but it didn't???not one bit???like was it even Nate?...does something else have me trapped...can I go get my fucking baby back?

I practically sobbed into my pillow as my hair covered my face.

I feel so lost without Nate...l...like he was apart of me...he made me so happy...we tried our best to make each other happy...and it's like that day messed it all up...we were fine...perfect...and then it's just...everything happening in that day made our relationship come crumbling down...I haven't talked to him in two weeks...I occasionally catch him glancing at me in class and in the halls...but I ignore it...I can tell he's doing well with the break up either...I'm just good at hiding my emotions...at certain times...

I miss him dead ass but i can't...I can't...not yet atleast...

There was a faint knock on the door then Derek spoke opening the door a crack.

"Lauren's here to talk to you" he sighed

I sighed wiping my face

"Send her in" i said biting my quivering lip

He sighed again before closing the door.

2 minutes later Lauren came in and sat on the little day bed infront of the window I was facing. I looked at her and broke down crying.

She looks just like Nathan...

"What's going on...you bother crying everyday...you just don't look as sick...my brother on the other hand...ugh...anyways...listen, I may be 15 and not knowing relationships like that but I know my brother is stupid...really stupid and he does stupid things...but he loves you and he feels horrible for making you feel any type of way or making you uncomfortable...he broke down crying talking to me about how sorry he was last night and I had to come talk to you again...you guys need to talk...fix whatever it is that's messed up...because you guys were doing fine from what I saw until his birthday..."

"I can't Lauren...i can't be around him without wanting to cry and throw up...throw and cry...I just wanna punch him in his cute scruffy face...and kiss him...fuck...I can't talk to him...not yet"

"Just tell me when...you guys aren't gonna end like that.

Or will we?

*
I sniffled walking out my room to the kitchen.

"She's alive" Derek joked

"Don't wanna be" I mumbled grabbing a bag of chips.

"What'd you say?" He asked

"Nothing" I said popping a chip in my mouth.

Just nothing...

nate.

I laid in bed staring at the wall.

I miss her so much...I can't take it...

Not being able to see that cute smile behind those curls and the way her cute nose crinkles up when she pouts...it's so cute and i miss that.

I burst out into tears clinging to my pillow.

I've never felt so horrible about myself...and knowing she's staying with Derek...and I'm not there....is tearing me up inside...i can't imagine what they could've done or can do....

I need my baby back...

"Yo yo skate!"Jack yelled coming into my room

It used to be our room...

I groaned covering my face.

"Oh cmon you've been moping around for weeks over that bitch...le-"

He got cut off my me slamming him into a wall and choking him.

"Don't ever fucking call her that again in your life!" I growled squeezing tighter on his neck

"O...okay" he said pulling at my hand

I let go dropping him.

I'm going psycho...I need help

"Geez bro...over some girl"he said holding his bruised neck

"Jack get the fuck out my room before I actually kill you" I growled.

He shook his head and walked out slamming the door.

I collapsed back on the bed sighing.

I guess you could say she made me crazy and kept me sane...