Good Girl.

-28-

I still haven't seen Derek in a week...I was thinking of sending him a text before I leave to go to California...but...I thought that would be fucked up so I asked if we could meet for lunch or something and he accepted so that's what's happening right now.

I held my bag over my shoulder and put my hair up as I sat down.

Derek was already sitting there looking at me.

He looks so...sad...and confused...

And I did that...I left him confused and sad...

"What did I do?" He asked moving his now longish hair out his face.

I bit my lip looking at him.

"Did Sammy tell you something that I did...because he's lying...I would never do anything to hurt you...I really love you...Erica...and you mean a lot to me and...I mean I bought a house for us...and then you just go and ignore me for a week...and not even return my calls...leaving me so confused.

"I think we should break up" I said tearing up

"W...what?...I-...w...what did i do?"

"You did nothing...it's just...I don't want to be the reason you and Nate stop being friends...youuu ya were really close and I ruined that...I was so stupid and went after the wrong guy...when I should've picked you...and now that I did pick you...everything's wrong...and Nate's trying to kill himself...I...I'm sorry for wasting your time...I...I love you...but we should break up"

"Baby..."

"Please Derek don't make this harder...I'm close to breaking down right now...please just say okay...and...and keep it moving....please" I cried biting my quivering lip.

"I can't...I can't just say okay and keep it moving like I didn't fucking love you Wien everything in me Erica...how could you do this?"

Please don't let him get to you...just get up and walk away.

"I gotta go" I said standing up walking away

"Erica" he called but I ignored him "ERICA!" he called louder

Everybody's probably looking at him right now.

I kept walking back to my car as tears streamed down my cheeks.

When I got to my car I broke down crying. I held onto the steering wheel crying my eyes out.

He was so good to me...

*
"1 thing down 3 to go" I said as I walked up to Nate's apartment.

Lauren opened the door and let out a breath pulling me in.

"Thank god you're here...Nate's not doing good at all...I hate seeing him like this"

"Mhmm...can I talk to him?"

"Alone?..."

"Yes alone" I said

"Sure..." She said pointing to his room

I walked to his room seeing him laying down facing the window.

He looks disgusting...and he shouldn't...but he should

Make sense?

I closed door shaking my head...

I hit his arm to make him look at me but he didn't move.

I walked infront of the window and he looked up at me confused.

"W...what're you doing here?" He asked quietly.

"You're sad yanno" I said crossing my arms

"Please save the insults and criticizing...I already feel horrible as it is" he sighed.

"Do you?...we'll grow the fuck up...you know how much you put me through?...how much shit I went through with and not with you...I can't count on my hands hoe many days I cried over you...I finally get happy and you start wanting to commit...well guess what...that little act isn't fooling me...I know you Nate...I know you wayyy too well...and I'm not gonna fall for any of your tricks again...I'm done with you...you can't fuck up my life anymore...and don't you dare come and find me...I don't want to be fucking found...it's all your fault I can't go to college anymore...I missed the deadline because of you!"

He sighed sitting up.

"You did?" He asked

" don't...don't do that...don't act like you care...don't act like you ever fucking cared...Derek cared...and he showed me that...he proved he really cared...and now that's over...because of you...always...I have no sympathy for you...but don't blame me for you ending your life when you brought this on your self..."

"You pushed me to stop loving you...it didn't just happen" I said

"Er-"

He said going to grab my arm but I pushed him.

"Don't fucking touch me...you will never see me again...I hope you get what you deserve...but I don't wish death on you" I said walking away

*
"Yea...I'm ready..." I sighed wiping my face

Both my parents stood at the little waiting section for me. They're being so nice to eachother right now...for me...and I love it.

"I'm gonna miss you...I missed 4 years of you growing up and I'm sorry...I'm really sorry...but I can't wait for you to be all grown up....I have alott of faith in you Babygirl" my mom said tearing up but smiling

"Me too princess...make sure to call me...I know I said forget me but...I already went a couple months with that...I need to hear from my only child yanno" he joked makin me smile

"I will" i giggled hugging him

"FLIGHT TO LAX BOARDING AT GATE 7b...FLIGHT TO LAX BOARDING AT GATE 7b"

"That's me" I sighed and smiled

They both hugged me crying.

I'm gonna really miss them...and Derek...