Sarah is thrown back into an ugly past when her old best-friend-turned-enemy kills herself. With the help of new smiles and old glares, she learns that some things just won't stay dead until you make peace with them.
Music pumped and shook the floor beneath my feet. I was sinking into a couch, occasionally being shoved from the side as a couple next to me made out with such ferocity that I was surprised they'd not already gotten whiplash. I watched as Shiloh danced, cider in hand, with Matt and Harry, hair flying back and forth, side to side.
Each time they smiled and beckoned me to dance, I smiled back and shook my head politely. I looked down at my green skirt and red shirt, not feeling the christmas spirit one bit. I looked at a clock on the wall: it was nine-thirty.
I stood, finally shaking myself out of a slow descent into madness, and made to dance with my friends, even if I didn't feel like it. Shiloh pulled me forward, and I smiled, but then felt the uncomfortable presence of a full bladder, and darted for Will's parents' bedroom. The room was surprisingly empty of overzealous teens, and I opened the bathroom door. The bathroom was also empty.
After I'd peed, I opened the bathroom door and looked at the bedroom. The bed was covered in a fluffy white throw and voluptuous pillows. Without meaning too, I sat down, and with it the weight of everything I was feeling sat in my gut. Tears began to spill from my eyes as I stared at the carpeted floor, and I rubbed at them with weighted hands.
The door opened, and I jumped. I wiped both of my cheeks with the back of my hand and looked up. A well-built blonde boy stood in the doorway, as surprised to see me as I was to see him. I recognised him from my German class - his name was James.
I made to stand, but James stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
"Wait," he said, "It's okay. What's the matter?"
Tears continued to fall, and I broke down in front of this boy I hardly knew. My shoulders shook, and he climbed onto the bed beside me, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly.
"Hey," he soothed, hushing me, "Hey. It's alright. Why is a girl such as you crying all alone, when you could be out there dancing with everyone else?"
I shrugged childishly, and James lifted my chin. I stared at him through watery vision, and he moved closer.
He kissed me then, and, after a lightning moment of shock, I leant into it. It felt good, my lips on someone else's as tears poured from my eyes. Every emotion that'd been building up inside me, making me sick to the stomach, was released into every motion of the kiss, and I leant in harder, holding my hand up to his face.
The door opened again, and we sprang apart. Curly brown hair bounced on Thea's shoulders as she stumbled in, tipsy and giggling. Abbey stood behind her, her eyes wide as she beheld the scene before her. Thea took a moment to adjust herself, and her eyes hardened as she found me, hands sliding down James' chest.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" She seethed. I sat up straighter and wiped the remaining tears from my eyes, not sure what she meant.
James stood and held out his hands to Thea, "Look, babe, it's not what it looks like.."
"Get out," Thea said, and he obeyed, not looking back once at me as I sat stranded like a deer in headlights on the bed.
Babe?
Numbing throbs of heat rushed to my head as I realised who I'd just been making out with.
"That was your boyfriend?" I said, but knew that she would see right through anything I said from this point.
"Don't you dare act so confused," Thea said, "Of course you knew. What do you want, Sarah? You stole Clara from me, and now what? Want to take my boyfriend too?"
I stammered as I stood on shaking legs, "Honestly, Thea. I had no idea."
She scoffed and turned into Abbey's open arms, sobbing.
"Thea," I pleaded, "You know I'd never do anything like this to you. I seriously had-"
Thea lunged forward, flying into me with waving arms. I squeezed my eyes shut as I was thrown back onto the bed, and punches flew at my face and chest. It was a messy brawl, me trying desperately with half-shut eyes to fend off Thea's thin arms as she spat with rage and tried to claw my hair from my scalp.
She was screaming. No, I was screaming. Were we both screaming? Abbey's voice yelled at us to stop as she attempted to pull her off. Soon, Thea's weight was off me, and I sat up, hair strewn across my face and in my mouth as I heaved and scrambled backwards on the bed. Thea struggled in Harry's arms, and Shiloh was at my side, lifting me up. She tried to drag me out of the room, but I was numb.
"Slut!" Thea screamed, extending the word as it projected from her mouth in a high-pitched wail. Shiloh ushered me from the bedroom, and I fell to the floor on my hands and knees.
"Sarah, are you okay?" Shiloh said, trying to pull me up again. I slumped, resisting her with all my weight, and rolled over on the floor. Shiloh continued to urge me upright, but my limbs were slack.
"Sarah! Come on, get up."
Harry and Shiloh dragged me up, and out the front of the house where they sat me on the steps. I hugged my knees as I stared at the gaps between the stairs, frozen in shock. Shiloh rubbed my back, but I couldn't feel it over my shuddering inhales.
What had I just done?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
