Paper Cuts (COMPLETED)

Chapter Twenty-Six: Infernal Affairs

The next day at school, Clara didn't show up. In the first class, English Literature, I sat next to Thea, who seemed to - or maybe it was just my imagination - storm in and sit down with the harshest movement she could muster. She pulled out her phone and began to text furiously. I felt paranoia begin to creep up on me when she didn't say hello, and my eyes strayed to her phone screen, tilted away from my eyes.

"Is Clara here today?" asked the teacher, Mrs Berry.

Without hesitation, as though she were anticipating the very question, Thea sat up straighter, "No. She's not coming in today. Clara's not feeling well."

I went cold with understanding. I knew then that Clara had told her everything I'd said to her. Despite her asking that I keep it between us. I'd been right on one part. I sank lower in my seat and gritted my teeth as anger began to fester deep inside me.

Thea ignored me the whole lesson, or maybe I was just too scared to test out if she was. The rest of the day everyone stayed at lunch, and I felt myself go hot at the thought that they were staying because I'd made a comment on it.

That night, I got home and texted Clara again.

"Hey. I didn't know you stayed home. Are you okay?"

Clara:
"Yeah, sorry. I just didn't sleep well after last night."

"Oh. I guess I just wanted to reinstate my main point, which got mixed up last night, and that was that I don't think there should be anyone else other than you, Thea and the other two involved in this."

Clara is typing...

Clara:
"Look I don't wanna be a bitch but can you talk to Eliza about this I'm not okay right now I've had a horrible day."

"This has nothing to do with Eliza. It's only between you and the others."

Clara:
"It's not like that anymore."

"Because you made it that way."

I felt myself grow angrier with every text, but a tiny voice told me to rein it in if I wanted to try and reconcile with Clara later.

Clara:
"Talk to Thea, then."

My heart began to pound. I pictured Thea's mass of curly brown hair, and how she stood a whole head taller than any of us. And then I thought of her when she was mad, the resting glare that honestly scared the living daylight out of me. My mind trembled at the thought, but for some reason unbeknownst even to myself, I decided to text her anyways.

"Hey, Clara told me to talk to you."

Thea:
"Okay."

"Do you know about what I said to her?"

It was a stupid question, but somewhere to start. I knew right then that it was a mistake for me to say anything. I didn't have to talk to her - I could've just dropped it. But now I'd gone and done it.

Thea:
"I know everything."

"So you know how I'm angry that this has gotten so out of proportion, and that I think that you're not handling this right?"

Thea is typing...

She typed for eight minutes. I counted. I constantly went back to check, and she was still typing. Finally, she texted me back.

Thea:
"You're wrong about this affecting Lola. I talked to her and she doesn't care. Unlike you she has every sympathy for us and isn't siding with the people who aren't even her friends. I'm sorry that this is 'hurting' you, but we are trying to fix this situation. Eliza and Abbey are only helping us because they noticed we were upset before school one day. You and Lola just weren't there."

Lola knew? She'd not said anything when I asked her. Had she been lying? Was she acting the middle man to everyone's disputes? I felt my head pound furiously.

"So why don't you just not walk off during lunch? Why does it have be to some secret between you guys. It kinda sucks, to be honest."

Thea:
"I walked off because I was really upset. I don't know what I'm going to do, Sarah. I've lost hundreds of pounds to these girls. I don't understand why Helen can't just pay us back. I would never do something like that to her."

"Look, as I said before, I don't actually care about the problem, only about how you guys are dealing with it. Why is it so hard to just keep it between you guys and Helen and Julia?"

Thea:
"It's not that simple."

I began to grow hot as angry tears gathered at the edges of my vision.

"Fine. Well I'm not dealing with this anymore. I won't be sitting with you tomorrow until you guys sort this out. I don't want to have to put up with this any longer."

Thea:
"Great solution Sarah. Bye."

I let my phone slip from my hands as I brought them up to my face and rolled over on my bed, crying quietly and ashamedly into my hands. What had I just done? I wasn't going to be able to sleep now, I knew it. I couldn't tell if I was wrong or right anymore.

What had I just done?