Sarah is thrown back into an ugly past when her old best-friend-turned-enemy kills herself. With the help of new smiles and old glares, she learns that some things just won't stay dead until you make peace with them.
Cold as ice. That was how much we all ignored each other at school that day. Guilt stirred in my gut, urging myself to apologise, but I couldn't find it in me. To even think about approaching Clara and Thea sent chills through every bone. At lunch I sat with Will.
"I'm sorry," I said over my juice, "You can go and hang out with your friends if you want."
Will shook his head. "It's okay Sarah. I don't mind."
"I love you," I said, temporarily lifting the weight in my chest as I watched the way his smile flickered into place.
"I love you too."
I got up to buy myself a sandwich, but turned around when I saw Clara. We made a second of eye contact before I walked out of there as fast as I could without looking like a cowardly idiot. Will smirked at me as I ran back to our table.
"You're being ridiculous, you know that right?"
"Shut up," I said with a shaky half-smile.
I leant back in my chair and saw Harry and Matt approach our table. Harry was holding a salad in his hand, Matt with a steaming hot pie balanced tenderly between his fingers.
"Hey guys," they said awkwardly, looking at Will nervously, "Don't mind if we join you?"
"Not at all," I said, but gave them both a look that asked why they were.
"It's a bit..." Matt raised his eyebrows and glared at the table, "Feisty downstairs. Girls look ready to skin someone alive."
I nodded grimly, "That would be because of me."
"What's happening?" Harry said. I shook my head.
"I'm not going to talk about it. I just involved myself in something I shouldn't have."
Harry nodded understandingly, and pushed his glasses up his nose as he punched a fork into his salad.
That night I stared at where my phone charged on my desk. I stared at it as a million thoughts raced through my mind. A small voice told me to leave it. Just leave it alone, and let it settle by itself. Things will go back to normal soon.
Of course, impulse overcame reason, and I lunged for my phone, opening up the group chat on Messenger.
"Guys. I know people are mad at me, and I will accept that. I only stood up for what I thought was right, and I was hoping people would respect that, but they didn't. I'm sorry for getting involved, but at the same time I find it ironic that it's bad for me to get involved, yet Eliza and Abbey being involved somehow wasn't a problem. It seems that until someone doesn't agree with you, you're going to involve as many people to back you up and be on your side. Ganging up against people is not what I thought we were the kind of girls to do, but apparently we are. This kind of behaviour is something I would expect from yr 7s, not sixth form girls. I thought Lola was just as left out as I was, but you sucked her onto your side the instant I got involved. Isolating people is not-"
I tried to type more, but I'd run out of space. I inhaled deeply, and pressed send. Then, I continued to write, even as the circular icons appeared next to the message as Abbey and Thea read it.
"Isolating people is not how you solve an issue. You keep it between yourselves and the person you have an issue with, and sort it out yourselves. Stop being petty high school girls and grow up. Maybe then I can be friends with you."
I pressed send, and felt a flurry of air gush from my lungs. It felt freeing. I went up the top of the chat and pressed on settings, scrolling down to the red text at the bottom.
Leave GroupChat.
I pressed it, and was free. No one would be able to attack me in the group chat now. If someone wanted to text me, I wouldn't respond. Or maybe I would deal with that later. I didn't know. I dropped my phone onto my desk and went downstairs for dinner.
A tiny part of me smiled in glee at the destruction I'd caused. I'd put on a show, and now they would read it and weep.
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