Sarah is thrown back into an ugly past when her old best-friend-turned-enemy kills herself. With the help of new smiles and old glares, she learns that some things just won't stay dead until you make peace with them.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
January saw London's first and, most likely, only snowfall. I wheeled my suitcase out to the taxi stand at Heathrow with Lewis, and shivered involuntarily at the cold. I held out my hand in the grey twilight of the evening as tiny flakes fell and melted in my hand.
"Look, Sarah," said Lewis, and he tilted his head back, holding out his tongue. Flakes floated into his mouth, and I laughed, copying him.
We spun stupidly in circles, eating snowflakes, until the rumble of Mum, Dad and Simon's suitcases crescendoed from the doors of the arrivals terminal.
"No one's said thank you," Mum said sulkily as Dad hailed a cab. I rolled my eyes at Lewis as we sang a mocked 'thank you for the holiday'.
"I already said it!" Bragged Simon, and Mum bent down to kiss the top of his head.
"I know you did, sweetie."
Lewis flicked his finger on the back of Simon's neck, "Shut up twit. Nobody cares."
"Lewis! Apologise!" Mum scolded. I laughed.
Dad called us over to a black cab, and we piled our luggage inside. Inside, the cabbie dropped his cigarette out the window of the car, and turned up the A/C.
"'Ello, how are we?" He said to my Dad, who nodded gruffly and said:
"Clapham, please."
"Where've you been off to?"
"Switzerland," said Simon. Lewis gave me a look that I returned. Neither of us could be arsed with Simon.
"Ah, very nice," said the cabbie, looking back to wink at Simon. Simon grinned and decided to detail every day spent skiing, and I plugged in my music.
Back home, I lugged my suitcase up to my room, and fell onto my bed, tired from the plane air and a long day of travelling. Lewis came into my room and jumped on my bed.
"How's it hanging fam?" He said ironically, dropping to lie beside me. I pulled out my headphones and sighed. Switzerland had been nice, surreal, even, but being back in this room, back in this city, everything flooded back to me.
"You know when you just can't stop feeling a certain way?" I said, more to the ceiling than to him.
"Not really..? What way?" He said, trying to sound disinterested.
"I don't know," I trailed off, "Kinda sad, I guess. Or overwhelmed."
Lewis laughed, but it was sharp and unwelcome against the vulnerable words I'd let spill from my mouth.
"I'm pretty sure that's called being depressed," he said, and I shrugged, turning onto my side. Stupid me, trying to spill my feelings to my brother. What was I expecting?
"Never mind."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
