we make it out of the door and into the courtyard. he leads me to a small patch of grass underneath a tree. we both sit down next to each other, but not facing one another. i pick at the grass next to me to calm my nerves. my hands shake like a small earthquake has erupted throughout my body. i hear phil sigh next to me.
"i'm sorry you know?" he says just barely above a whisper.
"f-for what? you didn't do anything wrong." i whisper.
"we both know that's not true."
i bite my lip.
"actually as much as i'd love to believe that this is because of you i know that's this is all me."
i finally face him.
"we both know that i caused this. this is all my fault and i except that. but what i can't except is that i-" i feel tears begin to fall from my eyes "i was selfish. i was so so so selfish towards you and mary and matty and-" i cut myself off with a choking sob.
i feel phil pull me into him and cradle me.
"i'm so so so sorry phil i'm so sorry i'm sorry" i whisper crying to his shoulder.
"shhhh it's okay dan i forgive you. shhhhh i've got you now. it's alright love shhh" phil hushes me and rubs my back.
"i don't deserve you phil you're too sweet and kind and i-i just- i don't deserve you. you deserve to be happy. you deserve that girl you were with. you deserve to happy." i sob quietly.
"no dan look at me." he grabs my face in his hands "i don't want her daniel. she was just there and i took advantage of that and i'm so sorry that you ever had to see that. now i want to you to stop it. do you hear me? stop. i only want you now stop."
i nod my head.
"now come with me sweetheart. we're ditching this god forsaken school and going back to mine for the rest of the day okay?"
i nod my head again.
"good now let's go."
YOU ARE READING
Holiest//Phan
Fanficin which a sad catholic boy falls for another boy [lowercase intended] {warning this is pretty bad. oops}
