Come Back to Me [Boy x Boy]

Chapter 14

Jesse P.O.V

Just as I'm certain that I've died, I'm yanked back into this cruel and unforgiving reality. My stomach was forcefully pumped and the entirety of the pills came spewing out. I wish my parents would allow "do not resuscitate" on my medical records.

I'm stuck in a room with a very mild sedative because many of the pills had begun to dissolve in my system. My family hasn't been allowed in to see me yet, not that I actually want them to. I don't want to have to go through the whole anti-suicide lecture again. It's always the same reasons that I always manage to talk myself out of. Their persuasion doesn't work on me.

The sedative keeps me in a peaceful state. If not for it, I'd probably be trying to poke air bubbles into my IV. Which I might add, isn't the worst idea. Unfortunately, however, I'm sedated and I probably wouldn't be able to pull it off anyway.

After some time, I fall asleep once again. I can no longer fight the drugs in my system. They put me straight to sleep and I am unable to ward them off.

Once I wake up, I feel terrible. The feeling is like waking up after the crash all over again, except this time I remember what happened. This is my fault, one-hundred percent. No one else needs to take any blame. I did this to myself.

My head aches and I simply wish to go home. My one wish is to go home and sleep; to go back to when times were simple. Times when I didn't want to die all the time. If only I could go back in time and stop that damn crash.

"I'm sorry," I murmur to myself.

"It's okay," a familiar voice reassures.

The sound sends chills through my entire body. As exhausted as I am, I force myself to sit up and see if my brain is telling me the truth. On the couch in the room sits my partner, John.

"John?" I sputter out.

I rub my eyes to make sure I'm not just seeing things. Sure enough, he's there. My heart skips a beat and begins to race. I can hear the familiar beeps on the heart rate monitor. I practically trip over myself to climb out of bed. Luckily, John catches me and laughs softly.

"Miss me, huh?" he rhetorically asks.

"Like you wouldn't believe," my voice quivers as I begin to sob.

John runs his fingers through my hair and whispers soft words of reassurance. Sobbing only causes my breathing to be more labored, but I can't stop myself. I've missed John too much.

"It's okay, I'm here now."

"Don't ever leave me," I choke out.

"I'd never leave you," he says before kissing my forehead softly.

Tears eventually stop falling from my eyes, partially because John wipes them away gently with his thumbs. His touch is as soft as ever. I've missed his caring embrace more and more every day. Now that he's here, I never want him to let me go.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper meekly. "It should've been me. I should've been the one in a coma. I-," John cuts me off.

"Don't apologize for anything, Baby. It wasn't your fault. Besides, you got the short end of the stick in this situation."

A small laugh leaves my mouth. While the fact that my condition has only worsened since the crash shouldn't be funny to me, it's clear that John is trying to make the best out of a bad situation.

"There's my happy Jesse," he says while poking my nose gently.

I haven't been this happy since the crash. Nothing has made me so happy. My depression has been so severe that I've attempted suicide twice. My problems won't magically go away, but having John, the person I love more than anything definitely helps.

"I'm so glad to have you back. I've been a wreck without you," I murmur softly.

"Looks like I woke up just in time."

"Yeah." I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh.

John plays with my hair in a soothing way. I begin to relax after a few moments and sigh.

"I'm sorry for not being strong enough," I apologize quietly.

"Hey," John says softly, "don't beat yourself up. It's difficult to cope when someone you love isn't there," he says while pulling me onto his lap.

"I feel weak for not pulling myself together," I mumble.

"Don't say stuff like that. You're not weak. I love you for you."

"I love you too." A small smile creeps onto my face.

My eyes flutter closed and I begin to feel very tired. John continues to tease my hair, only adding to my exhaustion. He knows that it can put me right to sleep if he does it for long periods of time. He must want me to rest off the remainder of my sedative and anti-depressants.

"You'll still be here when I wake up, won't you?" I ask with a yawn.

"If you want me to be," John replies with the smile I've always loved.

"Then you better stay," I tell him, earning a soft laugh.

My eyes close once again. Having an answer from him is like a safety net for me. It's confirmation that this is real. To me, this feels real. John is holding me once again. I can feel his warmth, his touch, his heartbeat. This has to be real. I can't be imagining this. There's no way.

"Get some rest, Baby."

John's soothing tone practically puts me to sleep. He's calm and collected for just being out of a comatose state for several months. Although, he was always the calm type. That was just part of his personality.

"I love you," I say again before drifting further into my slumber.

"I love you too," he returns my affection, planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Jesse, who are you talking to?" Connie's voice interrupts our moment.