LEXEE GOMEZ was there for it all, from his struggles to his fame. NICK MARA was there for it all, being her rock and shoulder to cry on and cuddle buddy. Then, one day, they weren't there for each other at all.
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1,298 likes — 32 comments lexeegomez; time for a change june 22, 2017 — aimeestone: what happened babe? user2: gorgeous girl user 3: that eyeshadow tho user 4: change is the best aimeestone: girl, pm me asap user 5: come back home, we miss you lexeegomez: .user5 i'll be home user 5: .lexeegomez lex don't you dare joke about this user 6: go live pls user 7: are you and nick still dating? — lexeegomez unfollowed therealnickmara —
I stare out the airplane window, watching as we pass the cities, then the ocean, to a place I once called home. I never thought I'd come back to my small hometown in New Jersey. Because in my head, I had it all planned out. I had a plan and coming back to New Jersey wasn't one of them.
I once had plans to pursue my singing career too. I had a plan to act and model on the side as well because it was fun pretending to be someone else and fun to dress up. However, singing is my passion. How could I ever lose sight of that passion?
I guess plans never work out the way you want them to.
My fingertips touch the window glass. I see a reflection of myself for a tiny second before my eyes focus back on my hands. My ring finger is missing the ring that I had worn for two years. It feels light and empty without it. It feels weird. The skin there looks paler. It looks weird.
Everything feels weird because my plans of spending the rest of my life with the person I thought was my soulmate didn't line up.
So when I saw the comments on the new picture, the one about Nick and I stand out from the rest of them, I cried. I, pathetic Lexee, straight-up bawled as we were boarding onto the plane.
Because no, we aren't together anymore and I don't know exactly when things went wrong.
As I settled in my seat, I closed my eyes. I remembered every single promise we ever made to each other, feeling disgusted at all the lies that were said.
Because not a single one of those promises were kept. Because I am going back to New Jersey, and he is back in LA, returning back to his tour soon.
My phone vibrates against my hand. I glance down at it and immediately feel the urge to cry all over again.
user 8: .user7 they both unfollowed each other ://
This means that he unfollowed me too. This means that all of this is real, and I can't turn back everything. This means that I lost him forever, as he lost me forever.
I bring my hand up to my cheeks. I don't know why. Maybe, subconsciously, I want to see if I was crying, but all I feel are my dried up tears.
I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Is it a good thing that I've run out of tears to cry anymore
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this is kind of a prologue-ish to everything so the next chapter will explain more!
