"Are you okay?" I ask him. His sad expression makes me regret my choice of words. Of course, he's not okay.
"There's just— It's a whole mess," he groans. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say to make him feel better. I can't tell him it's going to be okay because I know news like this was just doesn't go away.
"Just apologize," I offer him.
"Management won't let me say anything," he complains. He looks absolutely shattered and lost, and in afraid I'm just as lost to give him any useful advice. "They say it'll make it worse. That it'll bring more traction to the topic. More than necessary."
I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. So there's just silence, a weird, uncomfortable one. I should've known Nick would see right through it.
He shifts back like he had been shot. He looks hurt, offended even, and it confuses me because I missed whatever happened in those few seconds. I only realize when he speaks again. "I'm not that kind of person anymore, Lexee."
"I know!" I exclaim, shocked and confused as to why he felt the need to inform me of that, but then it clicks.
"Then, why do you look so disappointed?" He asks, sounding more hurt than before. This means that I hurt him more than the tabloids and haters did.
I play with the sleeve of my shirt. "I just didn't know that was a part of your past."
He's silent, just staring at me, and this odd sensation overcomes me as I'm under his gaze. "And you don't like it."
I don't say a word because yes, I don't like it. But I love him. I just don't know what to say to tell him that.
"I'm not proud of the person I was, at all. Today, I would never do or say anything like that because I know how it'd hurt people." He looks away from the camera, and he feels far way. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. "I know how much people are hurting now because that person resurfaced, and I am disappointed in myself." He shakes his head, closing his eyes for a brief moment like he didn't want me to see his emotions. It broke my heart.
"Nick—"
"I just didn't think you'd be too, and that's the worst part of it all." He looks so devasted, but there are too many thoughts going around in my head for me to form a coherent sentence. "You're the most important person to me, and I can't stand to see your face right now."
And then he ends the call. He ends the call before I get the chance to tell him I'm not disappointed in him but disappointed that this mistake could ruin everything he's worked for—a mistake he deeply feels sorry for. He ends it before I can tell him that I'm only hurting because he's hurting. That I love him and will always be there for him, even through this, even if my management thinks it's a bad idea because he's the most important person to me too. He's important and whatever he's going through, I will always go through it too.
—
BABY🌹
nick, please respond to me
please pick up
i don't want to be that clingy girlfriend
but i'm really worried about you
please please
babe
i'll book a flight to you right now
NICK🥰
don't fly out
you don't need to do that
BABY🌹
pick up, babe
YOU ARE READING
CHANCES ↠ NICK MARA
FanfictionLEXEE GOMEZ was there for it all, from his struggles to his fame. NICK MARA was there for it all, being her rock and shoulder to cry on and cuddle buddy. Then, one day, they weren't there for each other at all.
