Existent

Seperation

"What's the most pain you've ever felt?" She asked me as though I had the answer to every question in the world, and to her, maybe I did. I stared down at her wide eyes awaiting my mouth to open, and for the words to pour, perhaps an anecdote of my childhood, a broken bone, losing someone I loved.

"The most pain I've ever felt was every time we parted from each other. Not even the moments after as I came to terms with the loneliness that would consume me, but the moments before and in between. Having so much to say but saying nothing at all. The oh so familiar sting behind my eyes becoming more and more prominent with every tick of time. Looking into your eyes briefly and catching a glimpse of our whole future, never having to say goodbye, and how in that moment that scenario seemed impossible. How our embrace would be way too short, but long enough to heat up my whole body with the electrical wave that coarsed through me every time we made slight contact. The ice that would pour over me as you let go. I felt like I lost you every day. The Goodbyes never seemed temporary, All I could think about was the hours wait that would feel like eternity without you, the cries that would rake my body and keep me awake nights. I've walked away from you so many times before it kills me to be without you for even five minutes now. I cannot stand your absence. Half a heart would never be enough to keep someone alive, and that's how it felt as we separated, it's stayed with me even after all this time, and it will never subside."