Existent

Dying approval

I moulded myself,

Staring at the picture you had of me

In your mind

I watered myself down

weakened the structure

Of my clay, to suit the instability

You envisioned for me

And like paper- as fickle as me

You buried yourself inside of me-

And became me

All I ever wanted

Was your approval

And I would wrap myself up in knots

Trying to untangle the mess you claimed

I would be

If I couldn't let you see,

Into the infrastructure of my being

So you could manipulate every thought

Every dream.

You locked me away,

Only my castle was secluded from both night and day

Trying to put yourself at bay

You stole my heart,

And tore it to prey

Now, freed,

You- but a mass of humbled greed

I still wake up haunted by the deed

That I took, misplacing your dreams

But now I see, I am both

Everything and nothing

You wanted me to be

And didn't I want that, to live out your dreams?

But kill them in their undying sleep?

Didn't I want that? To be all those mindless things

You incarcerated in me?

Didn't I want you to finally accept me?

Didn't I waste all of those years, waiting so desperately for you

To love me,

For me?

To fulfil the promises you could never keep,

It was never me you wanted to reach

It was but a character you manipulated into me

But I've decided I'm no longer going to be

Someone else's dream

I am going to be me.