After The Nightfall ...

•Chapter 32•

I'm so tired. I haven't slept in days and here I am. Sitting in River's funeral. I can't wrap it around my mind. That River is dead. I never thought this was going to happen. Never saw my future in a funeral of my ex-mate. I promised not to loose myself. But now as I sit here wearing a black dress , my face pale ,my eyes fluffy and bloodshot from crying , a tissue in my hand , you can say he meant the world to me. It's not that this isn't true. He was the one that helped me get over my past. He truly loved me. Even thought he slept with me then left..

He left for a reason.. His death was so innocent. I should have stopped him. I should've came earlier.

I know I'm with Daniel now. I know he've been always soothing me all along. In everything I've been threw. But I can't help it. I can't help but blame my self.

It's all my fault. It is.

I sobbed as I sat in the church alone after the funeral. I can't imagine I didn't see that coming. All this time he was feeling guilty for my parents death , and it wasn't even his fault. I blame myself yes. But I blame his brother too.

I sat down crying more. I'm surprised I'm not out of tears yet. Though I've been crying and weeping ever since I saw his lifeless body fall on the ground. I can't take the picture out of my mind. It've been haunting me every time I try to sleep.

He would've just moved on and found another mate. But that guy was kind hearted he lived with guilt of another's fault.

I still remember when we first met. I was nervous. And the way my stomach made butterflies when he entered the door of my grandma's house and looked at me as soon as my eyes laid on him. His eyes were calling for me and I couldn't help but go toward him.

Then the way he got jealous of Mason. Then when I shot him with my bow and arrow. I can't help but smile as it. He would tease me for being a horrible shooter.

Then when he would come to my room and kiss me on the balcony of the girls room in the pack house. Then when he ran with me. Then when I first time slept with him was like heaven. I was his mate ..

I didn't realize that I was daydreaming until I saw a shadow on someone on the church floor.

I slowly looked up to see Daniel looking at me with a sympathetic smile.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

I nodded.

I held every strength in my to stand on my feet. I walked out the church to wear River's body was buried. I placed a red flower on his grave and smiled..

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me." I whispered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The flight back home-well not really home but to Daniel's pack house- was long.

I lay my head on the window looking far away to the clouds.

"I wanna go home. "I whispered.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"I wanna go home. "I said much louder this time.

"We're going home baby. " He said. I sighed still looking out the window.

"No. I mean home were I belong. "I sighed again. My brother Hunter probably will be so happy to see him again.

"Oh. " I heard him say.

" You sure ? If it is cause of River then we can fix -"

"No no. It's not about him." I sit up strait laying my head on the plane couch.

"I need to take a break from everything. I need to get myself together. "

"Ok. How much time?" He asked.

"Till I'm ready. "I shrugged.

"A week ? A month?" He asked.

"Maybe. "

"Where is your home anyways?"

"Seattle. "

"That's not far. 3 hours on the road. "He said. I nodded.

"I need to get my stuff first. "

He nodded.

The rest of the flight was silence till we landed.

Daniel led me to his car in the airport parking lot and we drove another hour in silent. When we arrived to the pack house it was around 2 pm.

Hunter opened for us and I tried to pull on my fake smile. He engulfed me with a warm hug.

"Where'd you guys go?" He asked with a frown.

"Um. "I looked for Daniel for support.

"On a date. "he said. I almost felt relieved. Note the almost.

"Really. You two are something?" he asked. I shrugged feeling the blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Um I'll go pack my things." I said dismissing myself.

"You going somewhere?" Hunter asked.

"Um. Yea back to grandma. I think you would like to go to?" I said-more-like-asked him.

"Uhh like today? now?" He asked.

"Yeah. "I nodded bitting my lower lip.

"Um no I have some work to do with the pack and I'll go after you ok? " he suggested.

"Ok. "I agreed. Turning up the stairs to my room.

I opened my suit case and stuffed my clothes in it. After getting ready and changing into something more comfortable yet black , I went downstairs.

"Eve and Alex are already into the pack. "Daniel said.

"That's good. " I said he nodded.

"Where are they? I want to tell them goodbye anyways. "I said. He pointed to the huge kitchen.

I nodded.

"Hey guys. "I said. They squeezed the shit out of me while hugging me goodbye and blowing up my ear drums when squealing and I was finally out the door alive.

I borrowed a car from on of Levi's and drove it after Daniel insisting on driving me but I denied anyways.

"Call me as soon as you get there. "He said in the garage after I placed my suit case in the backseat of the car.

"I will. " I turned to open the driver's seat but he pulled my arm and closed the door slamming me gently on the car.

"I'll miss you so much. "He breathed his lips few inches away from my lips.

"I'll miss you too. "I managed to say. I closed my eyes as his lips crashed into mine. I couldn't pull away so I let him deepen the kiss and enter his lip inside my mouth.

After what seemed like hour he pulled away.

"Be careful. "He said his lips pink and swollen from the kiss as he tried to catch his breath.

I nodded and got in the car. I rolled down the window for him to peck my lips again.

"Bye Dan. "I said and pulled the car into drive.

I have a long drive ahead. Oh god. I can't bare the pain in my chest as I get away from him ..