Summer In The City. CSI MIAMI FIC part 4

the meeting.

"Mr Speedle? It's time."
"Yeah. I'm coming". He took off his working coat and followed her.
They sat in the office she got for the time of her stay.
"So...can you tell me sth about you?"
"Have you read my files?"
"No. No right to do that without your permission. But I want sth straight from you. Just the important facts. You don't have to mention things that are too difficult for you. "
"Ok... I'm 40. I graduated Columbia.  I've been working here since I was 20. I'm level 4 CSI. I was shot and pronounced dead at the scene. Then in FBI witness protection. Hurt again by the same person and returned to Miami. Shot again. I've got my spleen removed. I'm working here again."
"Not mentioning anything about family or relationships. Do you want to skip that part?"
"I'm married to another CSI, my wife's 30 weeks pregnant."
"That's all?"
"Yeah. "
"Childhood? Teenage years?"
"No."
"Ok... Two more things- best and worst feature of you. "
"I'm.... distant. Sarcastic and rude. I cannot love somebody to the full. I'm a bad son and probably not the best if husbands or brothers. I'm anti-social....I'm..."
"Whoa! Just one!" she said  watching him carefully
"Ok. Sorry."
"One good one?"
"....... I'm.......well educated."
"And..?"
"You said one. "
"This one is an ability, not a feature."
"Ok. I'm .....loyal to my friends? I guess..."
"That one is ok...hmm. First - congratulations on your child. Is it first?"
"Yah..hope the last" he just filled out the words "Sorry. I didn't mean that."
"Not to sorry. Whatever you say, stays between us."
"You can add a worst father feature to the list " he laughed nervously.
"Future father. It's not the same. Not for a man. I assume your child wasn't exactly planned"
"Not really. But that doesn't matter as it's already here, does it?"
"Yes. Ok let's talk about the shot."
"Which one?"
"The fatal one. I must say-not entering the details- that it's hard to see people so broken after a friend's death like your friends were. It means you're not so bad after all " she smiled.
"Maybe.So what do you want to know?"
"How it is to be back here? In your own life?"
"Good. Really good. I've never thought it that way... But here...all happened so fast... First working in police, then the morgue, then back here... Courtney, wedding , baby.... Sometimes I just want to run away. Then I realize I just can't..."
"Ok. Quick test. One word. No extra words. Quick answer.ok?"
"Shoot."
"Work?   " Satisfaction"
Hobby?    "Work"
Relax?      "Books"
Home?      "Pain"
Friend?      "Eric"
Money?      "Unimportant"
Love?        "Next please."
Hate?          "Childhood"
Childhood?    "Loneliness"
Sense of life?    "work"
And back to- love? "....Courtney"
"Thank you. Well. I must say it was difficult. "
"Yeah. For me too. "
"Your answers...aren't usual. Who's Courtney? "
"Courtney is my wife. Courtney Walsh -she used to be".
"Oh...I remember her;) I worked with her once. Pretty girl. How's she?"
"Trying to cope with that belly girl. Hard to move around".
"I guess it's hard. I must have forgotten." Tim nodded.
"And...how are the relations here? After you're back?"
"Good. I guess they all greeted me well. There's no bond between me and Ryan Wolfe, we're just ...incompatible somehow."
"There may be a problem- he was your replacement,yes?"
"Yeah. Kinda. So no chemistry between us. And I hate his OCD, which I know is unconditional, but still. "
"How about your passed wounds? Do you feel...angry about them?"
"No. They were mostly accidents at work. I'm only angry because I was suspected of poor gun maintenance, which would never happen twice. My gun jammed, that's all. H. knows that, and the rest doesn't want to know, I guess. But I'm angry with that".
"Did you tell them that?"
"No. Since I'm back, things happened so fast..."
"I understand. Ok. Let's talk about sth else. You started your lifestory at 20. What about you before?"
"I...was growing up in NY. "
"Family?"
"Yeah. Parents, younger brother."
"Someting more,maybe?"
"Well.. My father was a restaurant owner, my mother was first a volunteer, and then the social worker. My brother is 13 years junior."
"Where are they now? "
"Still in NY. My brother lives here in Miami, he's a physiotherapist. We got in touch 1.5 years ago, after long years with no contact. He's in a relationship with my friend Calleigh."
"Do you often go to NYC? "
"Sometimes. To see Courtney's brother. I don't keep in touch with my parents if you wanted to know."
"Why?"
"My childhood was a nightmare. I don't want to see them again".
"Even now?With a child on the way? Don't you want it to have grandparents?"
"Not neccesarily. Besides Alexx is gonna be a wonderful grandma. And they were awful parents and would make even worse grandparents. They made me this way, that's why I never wanted any kids."
"But it happened."
"Yeah. Actually I knew this day will come.I proposed to Court long time ago. I knew it will come the time she would like to have a kid. I was aware that I will have to give it to her. But then we split up. Abruptly and because of me. She left to NYC. We didn't see each other for 3 months. I started to put pieces of my life together again. Then I found out she was pregnant. So we started anew. And it goes like this. I failed her again some time ago. I'm just a stupid fuck. "
"Did she forgive you?"
"Yeah. I don't know why."
"She loves you. And believe me- women tie with the guys looking like the good fathers -to- be. So don't be so harsh for yourself.
Is there anything more you want to talk about?"
"No.Thank you for not pushing on me."
"No problem. Nice talking to you."
"Laura... I need to ask one question.... Do you think I will be a good person one day? If I try hard? I mean- I will stop doing things that hurt others?"
"You ARE a good person. Even if your parents never told you that, or told you otherwise, don't keep to that. Move on." She got up. "See you again Tim. And good luck."