Summer In The City. CSI MIAMI FIC part 4

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"Yeah?"
"Can you let me use the bathroom please ?"
"I thought you had your show..." He looked at her pale face and she ran to the bathroom. All he could do was taking her hair out of her face when she started vomiting.
"Gee... Court...what did you eat?"
"Nothing special actually... Just a bit of salad and drank some tea. That's all."
"Is it happening after every meal?"
"Yeah...almost."
"That's not strange that you're losing weight...we need to find a doctor..."
"I found one. I'm going next week. Wanna come?"
"Sure. Is it an afternoon hour?"
"Yeah. 6pm".
He sat her down on the tiles and brought her the toothbrush and some water.She took it gratefully.
"Shall I bring you something?"
"Yeah. Warm water please."
He left. When he came back she was sitting on the floor, back to the wall.
"Better? "
"Yeah. It's always better when I vomit. I prefer this to this pushing feeling in my stomach just before."
"What a naughty baby... " He frowned... "Surely mine. "
"Yeah" she smiled "surely yours".
They laughed and he helped her to get up. Then he took her to the bedroom and lay her down.
"Can I bring you anything else?"
"No,but ..."
"Go ahead"
"Can you stay with me for a while?"
"Sure". He sat down next to her, watching her tired eyes.
"Courtney it's not a normal situation...."
"I assume...but nothing helped me yet. I've tried pills,diet,  suplements. Nothing. "
"I'm sorry." He bowed his head.
"For what?" She touched his cheek.
"It's my fault. If I had been cautious then, you wouldn't have had these problems now."
"Oh come on Tim. You didn't think  I also used some ?"
"Whatever it was,  failed. Well. It's too late to do something about it now"
"I...I .... wouldn't abort it. " She said quietly
"Oh? "He looked surprised.
"Why? I mean you aren't a believer or something... Sorry if it's too personal"
"It's not. Because it's yours. Part of you and me. And I thought I'd never see you again. "
"Why did you leave? Tell me please."
"Don't know. I was scared. Everyone was telling me how big is the step you took. How hard it was for you... And you stopped seeing me just after that so I thought it's just like they said...That baby would get it worse."
"Who?"
"Everyone... Eric, Calleigh.."
"They wanted to tell you that I've never been  committed to anyone so much I guess...why didn't you talk to me?"
"I don't know."
"It's ok. Don't bother. You must be calm for the two of you." He put his hand on the bump. "It's quite nice "-he smiled
"Tim, I know. You don't have to pretend in front of me."
"You know what?" Oh god...not  Natalia... He thought panicked
"...That you didn't want any kids."
"But..."
"Nobody told me. I figured it out . when you heard about Andre being pregnant you panicked. The way you were holding Jamie... Like something... alien. Then you got used to. I thought of it when you proposed and I decided that it's a choice between either being your wife or being a mother. I chose you". She looked straight at him.
"But...It wasn't going to be like that...I knew you would like to be a mother one day, so I was ready to give you a child somewhen".
"Not wanting it yourself?"
"Yeah." He bowed his head.
"Why? Why are you so afraid?"
"I cannot love like that, Court. My parents didn't pass me the feeling of loving a child. I wasn't a loved child. And unwanted actually. Harry was planned and loved I thought. It appeared they didn't love him either. They just...toyed him. He was a plaything, obedient and ready to be shown. I don't want to be the father like that."
"So dont be. Love your child. Support. Teach new things."
"I'd like to. The problem is that I don't know if I can. "
"We're gonna see, aren't we?
Yeah... Ok lie down and try to get some sleep." He lay down next to her. He hugged her and she soon fell asleep, too tired to remember he was so close to her. Laying behind her, touching her body he felt fine, like in the old days. He wanted to touch her but was afraid she would wake up.
Why not Speed, huh? Why not making love to her? She wants it, you want it... He told himself. Why are you so...reserved? It's hurting her, you know that. You're punishing her for leaving you, that's why. He thought he would consider getting closer. It was difficult to stay at one house, look at her waking up in the morning , in the evening, when shes combing her wet hair and not getting closer. He was a guy who could stop himself from things, but that was a woman he truly loved. She was so close, day by day. And she wanted them to be together again. He fell asleep soon after, staying by her side.
He was woken up by the cell ringing in his room. 3 a.m.
Got up and found it quickly.
"Hello?"
"Speed I need you here ASAP."
"WHAT'S going on?"
"We've got 5 bodies. Eric and Jesse can't come. You, Natalia and Ryan are the only ones left. "
"Sure. I'm on my way. "
Driving to work he promised himself to open a bit, spend more time with Courtney like in the old days.
At the scene Natalia gave him his box. "Did he wake you up too?"
"Yeah..want some coffee? I've got three in the car , bought at the gas station. One for you and one for Ryan."
"Thanks. Ok let's get started". They entered a long, dark and smelly tunnel.
"Was it checked before?"
"Partly. They don't want to enter too deep to destroy the trace. "
"Oook..." said Ryan, not quite sure if it's ok.
"Strange place...who found the bodies?"
"Some kids.just now."
"Do you hear that?" Natalia whispered.
"What?"
"Something's moving... Towards us. " Speed unbuttoned his holster, so did Ryan. Natalia moved her torch a bit to see who's coming.
They saw a man in front of them, with a gun.
"Drop it. Miami Dade police " Ryan shouted.
The guy turned around  and kicked Natalia's hand with the torch. She screamed with pain and it became dark. Ryan said suddenly- "come on- get out of here" and they turned back running carefully. All Speed remembered then was the cracking sound and the wall exploded covering the three of them. And then nothing.