Divergent: When We Were Young

Chapter Twelve

(The song for this chapter is Sorry Not Sorry by Demi Lovato. My queen. Listen as you read. Enjoy! I have a question. Ever wonder what some authors look like behind the screen?)

The moment suddenly turns awkward and uncomfortable when Marcus just stares at us. I clear my throat, trying break the silence, but unfortunately it only got worse. Finally, Tobias has the courage to speak up.

"Marcus, why are you sitting here? Don't you have a faction to govern, or are you here to make sure I keep my mouth shut?" Tobias snaps, his voice is quiet and makes me a bit scared.

"You're my son, I have a right-" Marcus says before Tobias interrupts him.

"You lost that right when you unhooked your belt and hit me with it."

Marcus sits back in his seat, taking a bite of his food. As if he could act like nothing has happened. It's probably a good five minutes before Tobias pops the question that makes me forget the food for a moment.

"Why?" He asks, the serious tone of his voice barley masking the hurt.

Marcus seems confused. "Huh?" He says, clearly taken back by the question as I am.

"Why did you beat me and mom?"

"I don't know." Is the three words that slip out of Marcus's mouth. Like someone asked him why the sky is blue and didn't know the answer.

"You don't know? You don't know why you beat your own child? You don't know why you hurt your own wife? I may not be Abnegation anymore Marcus, but I'm pretty sure hurting someone for your own good is selfish. Now tell me why you hit me and Evelyn to a pulp every night when you got home?" Tobias spits through gritted teeth. Both me and Marcus stare at him dumbfounded. He used his dead mother's name.

Marcus swallows and takes a deep breath. "I don't know why I did the things I did. And I know my sins are unforgivable. Tobias, I don't expect you to forgive me, or understand why. But here me out, please. You learn by others around you. The way they talk or walk or, even, act. My father did the same thing to me and I never knew why. Until I did it to you and your mother. It wasn't for anyone's good but mine. Being the leader of the governing faction isn't easy. There was no way to vent out all the anger, so I hit you. It wasn't until you left and I was alone, that I finally realized what I had done. Destroyed any sliver of trust you had, I had turned you into me. I'm sorry Tobias, I truly am. I don't expect you to forgive me, I wouldn't want to forgive me either. Beatrice seems to love you. Don't let her go. You'll miss her when she's gone.

"I miss your mother everyday. I even miss you. So I'm sorry that I destroyed your childhood. My crimes are unforgivable my saying isn't going to change that. Don't forgive me, I don't deserve it." Marcus finishes and looks at us.

I look at Tobias, seeing tears swim in his eyes. My heart breaks. I've never seen him cry and it makes my chest hurt. Tobias reaches into his pocket and pulls out a silver chain with a gray ring on it.

An Abnegation wedding band.

He hands it to Marcus, leans in close and says, "Evelyn says hi." Tobias gets up and walks out fast.

I turn to Marcus and he stares at the band in awe. I'm too shocked to say anything, so run for Tobias. Forgetting my tray.

I find him reaching our cabin, I call out his name.

"Tobias!"

He doesn't look back, his sight set on the wooden house. I speed up and reach his side.

"Are you okay?" I ask sympathetically.

Tobias just stares at me, the tears balancing on his eyes lashes. He then, abruptly, pulls me into his arms and sobs.

His body racks with each weep and he grips me tighter. The door to the cabin swings open and the gang stops in their tracks. Zeke's eyes widen slightly as he sees the Almighty Four crying.

"Is Four crying?" Zeke asks, feeling sorry for his best friend.

Shauna comes up behind Zeke and her eyes soften. I turn back to Tobias, who is still sobbing.

"Hey, do you want to go somewhere else?" I whisper into his ear. He nods.

He pulls away and looks me in the eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. Hepicks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. Tobias's grip tightens again. He leads us to the apple orchards. He sits me down behind a ripe apple tree. The sweet smell of over ripe fruit and wet grass calms me.

"Are you okay, Tobias. Talk to me please." I urge. Tears threaten to fall from his eyes, but he resist.

"No, I am not okay. I wasn't expecting that. He owned up to it and then told be to not forgive. I wasn't planning on it doing, anyways. I can't tell if he's lying or telling to truth. I wonder if my mother would have forgiven him." Tobias says, he looks up at me.

"Well, I can't tell you how to feel. What Marcus did is unforgivable. But he made you the way you are, and I love that Tobias. I wouldn't trade him for the world. So, don't forgive or do. No matter what it choose, I will still love you until the day I die. And maybe not even then." I say thoughtfully.

Tobias's eyes soften and he pulls me into a kiss. He mouth fits mine and we collide. Eventually, the impediment need for air rises and we pull apart. He rests his forehead on mine. Tobias pulls me into his chest and I lay my head down. I can hear his steady heartbeat.

I don't know how it is possible for anyone to love someone. Coming from Abnegation, I had no idea what love really was. It was until I met Tobias that the thought of sharing my life with someone other than me occurred. And now, I would take a bullet for him. Let's not hope for the latter to actually happen. I turn around to look deep into his dark blue eyes. They're so vast, so mesmerizing I could get lost in them, and in many cases, I do.

"Maybe it's not love that keeps us together." I say slowly.

Tobias's eyebrows pull together. "What do you mean?"

"People say I love you all the time. And they probably mean it, too. But...I think I don't stay with you by default, as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with you because I choose to, everyday that I wake up, everyday that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose you over, and over again."

"And I choose you." Tobias finishes.

I love you, Tobias Eaton.

Even if no one else does.

Waddup, people! I thought that I should update because it is Theodore Peter James Kinnaird Taptiklis's birthday! Today Theo turned 33. And may I say he looks pretty good.

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