3:26 am

f i f t e e n

f i f t e e n

1:43 am
holden
oh shit

1:43 am
holden
quincy, i am so sorry

1:45 am
holden
please be up

1:46 am
holden
i completely forgot to text you

1:48 am
holden
please take a late happy birthday

1:48 am
holden
i was going to wish you THE BIGGEST happy birthday

1:53 am
holden
you don't know how sorry i am, quinn. i feel horrible, and i am horrible. im a total dickwad, and im only gonna keep dissing myself until you can do it for me. im so mad at myself. sorry isn't going to do much, but it's the only thing i can do when im this far away from you. if i was any closer i would come over and give you hugs and try to make up for it, maybe even let you sucker punch me, but i can't do that right now. all i can say is that from the bottom of my heart, i am sorry. please please wake up.

I stared down at my phone as Holden's text continued to come through and I contemplated on turning my notifications off and turning over in bed, but the longer he texted me, the more awake I became.

1:54 am
quinn

1:54 am
holden
did you just blank message me?

1:54 am
holden
i deserve that

1:55 am
quinn
don't worry about it, holden

1:55 am
holden
no, don't do that. just tell me you're upset with me

1:57 am
quinn
okay, fine. im upset, but mostly with myself. i was stupidly waiting all day for you to text me, thinking you were just waiting as long as you could or some shit. that was stupid on my part, got it? im sure you were out with andy today, im sure she did a great job at distracting you. i shouldn't have expected you to text me, especially since we haven't even been texting recently. we aren't really friends, so it's fine.

1:57 am
holden
we aren't friends?

1:57 am
quinn
would you call us friends?

As I waited for a text back, I laid back in bed with my phone in my hand. My phone began to ring and I jumped up, not expecting the sudden vibration. I looked at my phone and saw that Holden was calling. My heart began to pound and I started to panic. I wanted to answer, but I felt like all I could do was stare down at the screen. Just before my phone stopped ringing, I answered the call and brought my phone up to my ear.

"Listen to me, Quincy, you're not allowed to be passive aggressive with me. Be aggressive, but this passive shit is not working, okay? I would call us friends, and up until a couple days ago, I think you would too," I heard Holden's voice start off loudly, but as he continued to talk, his voice became softer and softer. "Please say something."

"Hey," I said lamely, not knowing what else to say. I could feel myself absentmindedly shaking from the nerves that were going through me, and I could feel myself choking.