Bed Partners

Stages

Tape 21, Side B

This will be the last part of my recording. After this, no more.

I already said it. My story with Qing. How we began. How we progressed. How it ended.

Well, not really ended, but it stopped. Like time getting suspended.

After the seventy two hours given to us by the doctors for Qing to woke up on his own, he failed the test.

The doctors declared him as a comatose patient.

Six months to the day that we met in that club and made out on the men's room in that said club, Qing was declared comatose.

Papa broke down.

He tried his hardest to wake Qing up. Staying at Qing's bedside for hours. Playing his son's favorite songs and even the videos Ato and I shared to him. Talking to Qing. Begging Qing. Pleading to anyone who will listen to wake his son up.

But to no avail.

Mama was devastated too but I stayed next to her to keep her calm. The stress is giving her some abdominal pain even though the doctors cannot find anything wrong with her pregnancy.

"It's your stress mind, Mrs.Wang. Playing a game with you. You are stress and your worry is miscarriage so you feel some signs of it. But the babies are doing well. Developing well inside you. Please, calm down Madam. You have to be strong for your son. Mr.Wang will worry..."

The doctors referring to Qing as her son gave Mama new energy. She even managed to sit by Qing's side to encourage him to wake up.

I sat by Qing one time in the ICU. Talking to him.

"Why are you still sleeping? Wake up. I hate seeing you like this. With machines beeping around you and bags of IV's and medicines plastered to you. Wake up..." I asked him while holding his hand. His are bit cold hand. I even asked a nurse to lower down the temperature of the room but she told me that this is the ideal temperature for Qing.

When the doctors declared that Qing is in coma, I feel like my heart breaking into tiny pieces.

He and Kim were just supposed to check the venue for their engagement, but that crash happened. Why?

Why them? Why Qing? He promised me so many things. I can't do anything but cry. I even stopped eating.

My mother suggested that I started seeing a psychologist.

"You cannot be like this. A mess," she said when she found me crying in one corner after Qing was declared comatose. "Do you want Qing to see you as lonely as this? Do you think he is unaware that you are devastated? He is only sleeping Dayu, but his senses are still there. He will know. See this doctor, she can help." She handed me a business card.

I shook my head, "I will be okay, I just can't believe it's happening again. Another patient. Another hospital. I am thinking of Baba and when he got sick..." it's like a recurring nightmare for me.

"That is why you need to see someone. A professional, before you developed a trauma or depression, Dayu ah." Mama begged me.

So I started seeing a psychologist and recording on tapes. The deal, 21 sessions with a psychologist, 1 and a half hour every session and they will let me stay with Qing to take care of him.

"If you won't do this, you will break and how can you care for Qing, then? Dayu ah," Mama hugged me when I said yes to the therapy sessions.