Left Behind

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"I'd have to say I've always been nervous. Or I guess anxious. Anyway you should have seen me during my skating days. I'd always get panic attacks and stuff ha ha... Sorry. Anyway yeah that always seemed normal to me. I never felt that there was anything wrong with that. Doesn't everyone get nervous?... When you put it that way it sounds bad"

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"When Viktor left... Ah ha ha... Well I was distraught and confused and... lonely. Even though I was surrounded by my friends and family I felt... Incredibly lonely. I was so confused as to why I couldn't get over it and I just kept feeling worse and worse. There was this weird pang that would hit my heart and it felt... Constricting and smooth like glass. It was heavy at times and light at others, but it was still there. I know this sounds weird, but the pain sometimes felt... Sweet? Thorny... A rose... It was a rose with a sweet scent and painful prick. And this rose had friends that grew along. And I stupidly tended this garden, feeding it the misery it desired. Dumb right?"

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"I was sad... So so sad... I understand now why they call this feeling blue. Its cool and dark and sends a shiver through you. Although it chilled my skin I never reached for a blanket. This frost became my comfort and support and I succumbed to its ice. I was frozen as everyone walked past me... My parents passing... my sisters wedding... They all passed my statue and I let them with a crooked smile carved on my surface. Looking back I really should have said something..."

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"I never thought I would ever lose control of my body. Seeing what I was capable of was terrifying. While everything was happening I felt brain dead half the time. It's not like I put up much of a fight though... I guess I just couldn't cope with looking myself in the eyes..."

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"I don't feel like their are two of me... I think there is a balance, but it was tipped. thrown off by everything. Crumbling, I had to desperately grab my own hand... unfortunately I don't think it helped much..."

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"I think I'm happier now... I'm still not sure though... I feel as though I'm still wearing a chipped mask. And as much as I'd like to remove it, the glue is very strong. Also... what if I remove it and my own hands push it back onto my face... I hate to think that I'm my own enemy..."