Forever Holding On

Chapter 15

I had to pry my eyes away from Lavi, Allen stayed by my side as Lenalee and Komui backed away. By the looks of it, he didn't look happy, which made my heart hurt more. "L-Lavi." I manage to choke out. Lavi looks at me, the, sighs. "Tss..." He looks away. My eye widened, Allen blinked and looked at Lavi. "Lavi, Ivory is alive, aren't you happy to see her?" He asks putting his hand on my head.

Lavi glanced at Allen, then to me. He lowered his head. "I'm surprised she lived, after all, she is part Noah." He glared away from me and left the room. Komui dropped his mug, Lenalee covered her mouth. "Noah?!" Komui smacked his hand on the wall. "You're part Boah?!" He rose his voice.

"Komui stop yelling!" Allen held Komui by the shoulders. "Does she look evil to you?! Lavi is just pissed off because Ivory didn't say anything! She was scared!" He defends me, I blush angrily and my eyes burn into the ground. Lavi, my brother, just ratted me out to the leader of the order. Komui jerked back. "It doesn't matter Allen! She's still part Noah! Who in their right mind would want to be related to one?!" He snapped, Allen jerked back and glared at Komui. Lenalee shook her head. "Brother, enough..." She said sternly.

"She shouldn't be here." Komui crossed his arms. I go to say something, but Allen gets in front of me. "Komui, if Ivory was evil why would she choose the Order over the Noah Clan huh?! She wants to be the person who protects people and collect innocence, not kill exorcists and destroy the innocence!" He said bluntly to Komui, I start to question why Allen was defending me so much, I would've thought he hated me for keeping such a big secret from everyone.

"That is enough Allen!" Komui stops. "Lavi doesn't want to even look at her anymore, she's lucky she even-" I use all my strength to slam my hand against the table beside me. "SHUT UP!" I strain my voice in order to scream, Lenalee quickly leaves the room, Komui and Allen jump and turn to me. I hiss slightly and look up, my eyes burning with tears again. "So what if I'm part Noah huh?! I hate my family! I never wanted my life to be like this, I wanted to protect the world and collect innocence for everyone! Everybody is going to hate my guts for what I am now, if you all wanna kick me out? FINE! I'll go live in the forest like the animal I am..." I snap at Komui, it probably wasn't the best thing to do, but I was done at this point.

Allen looked at Komui with a knowing look on his face, then he looked at me. "Ivory. Don't say those things." He touches my wrist, I flinch and look away from Allen, I wanted to yell, but I didn't. Komui rubs his forehead. "..." He doesn't say anything, he just walked out of the room. I squeeze my hands into a fist tightly, fighting back the urge to scream. Allen turned to me and frowned. "Ivory it's okay..." He squeezes my hand tightly. I shake my head and throw the blanket off, I still had my original clothes on. "I can walk..." I move my legs around carefully.

"Ivory what are you doing?" Allen questioned me as I got up, swinging my legs over the side. I heave a sigh and pull the sticky wire patches and stuff from my arms and head. I look out the window, it was half light outside, meaning it was early in the morning. "For a walk." I growl slightly, I didn't know where I was going, but I was going to stick close to the Order. Allen flinches back. "What?! Ivory, you can't go off again! We just got you back! You can't just leave again..." Allen said.

I turned around. "We?! What 'We'?! Lavi still hates me, Komui doesn't want me here, Lavina probably hates me too, and Lavina didn't even bother to see me! I don't even belong here anymore Allen." I turn around to leave out of the nursing room, I felt my hand being grabbed, I flinch and turn around, hissing slightly. Allen's hair had covered his eyes, his mouth was quivering, and his grip on my hand was shaky. I open my mouth to say something, but.

"Then I just got you back. I don't want you to leave."

My eyes widened, I let my head drop. Now I knew why Allen was so happy to see me, and why he was sticking up for me when Komui was bashing me. I knew, Allen liked me. I could tell from how he was hugging me, and all those things, but, I couldn't stay here. I had to face it, no matter how hard it was to deal with, I was leaving. My hope was lost.

"I'm sorry Allen, I just can't stay here anymore." I glance at him, pain shot through my chest when he let go of my hand, he looked away and nodded. "Very well..." He says, so quiet, I almost don't hear it. I tuck my hammer into my pocket and heave a steady sigh, I didn't say goodbye. I just walked out. I walked past people in the order and they gave me weird looks. Komui and Lenalee were nowhere to be seen, I keep my head low and leave out the front door. I bump into something hard and my nose twitches.

"How many times am I gonna have to tell you, to watch where you're going?!" Kanda glared down at me. Something set off inside me and I snapped, I backhanded Kanda across the face and he flinched, stumbling back. "Watch where you put your fucking mouth." I growl angrily and bolt off, leaving Kanda in a stun. I pull my coat over my shoulders and start to run, I extend my hammer as I jump in mid-air floating downward once again.

Once I hit the ground, I look around for where to go, somewhere where I didn't have to get lost for a month again. I started to walk around slowly, thinking. Something hit me, a memory, a flashback.

~Flashback~

"Master, what is that big castle place?" I ask Master Cross as we sit at a lake not too far into the forest. I was 12 at this time, and I sort of got how to properly use my innocence. Cross smokes a cigarette, he lets out a sigh. "That is the Black Order pupil, it is a place where all the exorcists go. There are many types, there will be a time you will get to go, just not at your age." He sighs. I let out a sad sigh and drop my head. "Okay Master..." I say.

~End~

It hit me, the lake! That's where I can go! No one will find me there. I turn on my heel and look into the forest, I breathe a sigh and start my way in. I made sure that I could get back out easily, I continued to look back over my shoulder so I could remember where I was going. Soon, the sound of water was trickling into my ears and I smiled, hurrying deeper into the forest where I found the sudden space.

There it was, the place where I could get away, I didn't have to worry about anyone else bothering me. I take off my coat and put down, I sat on it and pull my knees to my chest. Looking out at the water, the lake was beautiful, the sunrise was starting to shine through the trees, hitting the water, which made it sparkle beautifully. I was so lost when I stared at the lake, I blocked everything out.

Snap!

My concentration broke when I heard the snap of sticks growing closer to me. I quickly stood up and whip my hammer out. "Who's there?!" I yell at nothing. "Innocence Acti-"

"Stop stop! Don't hurt me..." Allen walked through the trees and into my sight. "Don't, kill me."