.''I hate you, I love you''.

-7-

Ash's pov:

I had finished with tuning my guitar, still in my underwear/PJ's and door locked since last night.

In your eyes, there's a heavy blue
One to love and one to lose
Sweet divide, a heavy truth
Water or wine, don't make me choose

I wanna feel the way that we did that summer night, night
Drunk on a feeling, alone with the stars in the sky

I've been running through the jungle
I've been running with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you
I've been down the darkest alleys
Saw the dark side of the moon
To get to you, to get to you
I've looked for love in every stranger
Took too much to ease the anger
All for you, yeah, all for you
I've been running through the jungle
I've been crying with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you, to get to you

Your fingertips trace my skin
To places I have never been
Blindly I am following
Break down these walls and come on in

I wanna feel the way that we did that summer night
Drunk on a feeling, alone with the stars in the sky

I've been running through the jungle
I've been crying with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you
I've been down the darkest alleys
Saw the dark side of the moon
To get to you, to get to you
I've looked for love in every stranger
Took too much to ease the anger
All for you, yeah, all for you
I've been running through the jungle
I've been crying with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you, to get to you, to get to you

I've been running through the jungle
I've been crying with the wolves
I've been running through the jungle
To get to you, to get to you, to get to you

I sighed and put the guitar down.

I stood up and walked in my bathroom, taking time to stare at the scars that littered my body from those past years of training, I didn't beat Michell, Eszter or even mom but still, those on my arms and legs were light so you needed to be looking for them to find them but those that were elsewhere ever quite visible.

not that I care but still, the one literally going straight across my face was really visible, my relatively pale skin slashed with its pink, it went from my cheekbones, under my eyes and over my nose in a perfect straight line, it's normal to assume my nose was broken in that.... more like cut in that place.........I was 16 at the time and each had a job at that camp and I was in the reparation section, I ended up fighting with someone because they kept insulting me because I was a girl and younger than them and one of their hit landed me on a working circular sow of someone else, I caught myself in time to not get killed at least...... I still remember the shock and adrenaline taking away all pain with me and everyone stared horrified at the blood fountain coming from my face as I sat on my ass, a shaky hand touching my sliced face, Dash came in running before I passed out from shook and bloodless, safe to assume I was never sent back there and the person that I was fighting with and the person that kept the circular sow turned on when he wasn't using it got severely punished....

I didn't care to cover up the scar with makeup or anything, my nose had a slight curvature at the place the scar passed.
I wouldn't explain how I got it because it still frightened me, I couldn't really support the sigh of my own blood and any type of sow, I could talk about them, watch other people bleed but my own was something that could make me crumble to the ground in a panic attack..... and I was ashamed to be this week, no alpha should be worried about spilling their own blood for their pack.

these scars tainted my wolves coat, I was a really light grey, almost white wolf with orange eyes, but for each place where I had a scar in my human form, I had black fur growing there in my wolf form, I was so close to Alf that we weren't even a human and a wolf sharing a body but more like one brain, two minds and one body so what marked my body marked his, same with Dash and his wolf but he was a dark grey, almost black wolf with white fur in the places of the scars so we kind of matched, yin yang if you will so that brought us even closer.

in that camp we had learned how to fight and such, disassemble and assemble guns and then shoot with them, fight.... it was military grade training for kids, we were fucking 12 when we started........ but I'm still grateful to have gone there, it made me and Dash as close as we are right now and taught us a lost, he was an omega ranked wolf with the strength of a beta.

I sighed as I got an sms from the Lamp leach earlier.

-be in the park at 10 mutts, we need to decide the days because I'm not failing because of you dog-

I sighed and brushed my hair out and brushed it to the left like usually before going to get clothes, she couldn't let me enjoy my weekend can she?........ why am I so unlucky with life moon goddess? when will happiness shine on me instead of all the misfortune that lead and is leading my life? please send me a sign, just show me what I need to do to be happy.... I have enough from hiding my feeling for people, family and myself...... just one sign.

my phone buzzed and I glared at its screen.

-be here fast dog-

fuck you Lamp leach.... fuck you...... why did you need to be my mate? haven't I suffered enough already?