.''I hate you, I love you''.

-40-

(well.... please read the end of this chapter.... it's the last of this book.... the actual chapter might by shorter then normal)

Ashira's pov:

I smiled as I used my phone to look at my emails, sitting on my houses couch, it was built right after my marriage with Lauren.

it was splendid, lights everywhere, she looked so beautiful in her white dress, I think I even saw a blue firefly or two here and there, it was a magical night.

this house was right next to my parents, I would have stayed in the same house like me of my family but there wasn't enough room so we decided on this, close to the pack and all.

the only problem is someone important had found my channel with my covers and original songs and wanted to work with me and it meant being far from the pack.... but Lauren and my brothers did a good job with that and face timing them also helped.

"mom!" I put the phone down as a two-year-old little girl with a single strand of blue in her hair just like me and also got my green forest eyes but Lauren's lighter brown hair and it was cut chin length, she was a happy golly little bean full of life, she was wearing a small sun kissed dress.

"hello little bean" I said as she stopped before me, I bent forwards a little and picked her up and set her on my lap.

"Ashley come back here this instance" I laughed as she tried to hide in my hoodie like she wasn't there so I pulled the other side of it over her and just leaned back on the couch.

"hi love" I said with a smile as Lauren came in with furred eyebrows.

"Ashira stop hiding her she needs her bath you know very well"

"you got busted" I muttered to Ashley.

"noooo" she jumped of me and ran for it.

"Ashley!" Lauren said in despair.

"sit down a little Lauren I'll take care of this, you shouldn't run around anyway" I sat patting her 7-month pregnant stomach, Ashley was so excited to have a sibling soon.

Lauren sighed and sat down with a huff.

"oh come on don't be mad at me"

"you need to make a pickle and jam sandwich"

"you pregnant woman with your strange food cravings"

"hey!"

"okay okay I'll do it, I catch Ashley first and give her a bath then make you as many pickle and jam or any weird combination of things in a sandwich as you want"

"Ashira?" she grabbed my hand.

"yes love?"

"come here"

she hugged me and I hugged back, planting a small kiss on her lips.

"I love you more than the world itself"

"I love you more than anything"

I smiled and kissed her forehead before searching for Ashley, the house was not to big but still a hassle when you need to find a hyper 2-year-old.

I found her playing around with my crown, it resting on her head sideways and acting like a princess she is in front of a mirror.

I smiled, this is the best life I could imagine, I would give it up for nothing.

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though something changed after 2 months...

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everyone is standing in the rain, dressed in black on this sorrow filled day.

"we'll leave you guys alone a bit, come to the house when you are done for a warm cup of dark coffee like you like them" mom said quietly while laying a hand on my shoulder but I didn't answer.

soon I was alone with my two-year-old Ashley holding my left hand.... and a crying unnamed little baby girl in my right arm, wrapped in thick cloth to keep her from getting cold, she was crying.... Ashley was too.... I was too.... these two knew they would never see their mother ever again.

here lies a friend, wife and mother
Lauren Karla Clifford

may moon goddess look over you

"A-Ashley?" I gently asked, she's been tightly holding my hand for a while now and didn't answer me for a while.

"yes mom?" she whispered, it hurt my heart even more to know my children will have no mother, Lauren having passed away do to complication during birth.... it tears me apart to think about it.

"t-take you sister Karla inside" I don't give a damn about traditions!!! my daughter is named Karla Asher Blackblood from now in honour of her mother.... she would have loved it. "I'll follow you soon but you need to go to granny, she said she'll make you a warm bath... please?"

"okay mom" even for a 2-year-old I could trust her with going home alone, the pack would protect her if something happened and she was really intelligent.

when I didn't hear the sound of her steps anymore I tightened my fists and faced the ground with closed eyes before falling on my knees in the mud, this place.... it was the first time I cried in front of Lauren, after bringing her to this clearing and talking to her about this place.... I never wanted her to join the others!!!

I hugged myself, loudly sobbing, unable to do anything, I was destroyed beyond what could have been repaired, yes she wasn't my mate since I refused the moon goddess and Eszter's offer but I loved her.... I LOVED HER MORE THEN A MATE EVER COULD HAVE!!!!

I couldn't hold in my screams of despair anymore, screaming at the dark sky with all my pain and sorrow. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!

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it seems....

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not all stories have a happy end.

(so this is the end of this book and I might say this at the end of every book I finish and might get repetitive but you have no idea how much joy it brings me that people like you, the reader, come to find these books and read it, enjoy reading it.... you are truly the real authors of these stories because without you guys.... where would be the point? so.... like I say every time.... thank you so much for taking some time of your day to read what I write, truly thank you and have fun reading other books, I need to write the missing generation and Ashira's kids book too it seams)