.''I hate you, I love you''.

-32-

Ashira's pov:

"what was that for?!" I huffed at my mama while rubbing my head where she hit me just now.... well it's not all that painful but still.

"my Ashira doesn't wear colourful clothes and sure as heck doesn't look this calm instead of sad" I sweat dropped.

"mama it's me dammit" she sighed.

"I'm not sure"

"mama!"

"okay okay I get it.... but admit it it's strange"

it sure as heck was, I hadn't told them about the sms I get in the night because I had no idea what to act as right now, a bit lost.... and I wasn't in the usual black, like.... black boots since I have nothing else for my feet really, blue shorts, a red camo T-shirt with my cap on my head and a black hoodie tied around my waist.

".... yeah it's strange" I finally said, rubbing the back of my head as she looked me up and down.

"...... it's Lauren isn't?"

"what?!"

"it's not that much of a secret that you do seem to get along with her a lot.... plus, you already see each other a lot as it is and I don't think it's only for the appointments you have"

"it's nothing like that...... I think"

"you think?" I simply started at her before sprinting out before I turned bright red.

I sighed a bit when I was two blocks away and stopped running, continuing to walk towards the park, all this was all over the place for me, half of me was still all fucked up mentally while the other side was.... sort of fine, so everything was all over the place.

I was kind of nervous when the park came in view.... yeah there is no need for the gods and goddesses to help me to know what I feel that's for sure.

I sat down on a bench, legs crossed at the knees unlike normally where I didn't care how I was sitting, this little nervousness making me ask unlike I normally would, drumming my fingers on my knee and checking my phone twice in a minute at time.

I stared at the blue sky, I don't know what it is these days but it's so blue I hate it.

light wind blew by making me brush my blue and brown bangs out of my eyes, I should get a haircut.... it's getting to long for my liking and hard to take care of.

I was on my phone when I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up.

"h-hi" a Lauren that looked ready to run away in fear said, I scanned her outfit with my eyes, words stuck in me.

(the first one)

"hi" I stood up, she was now eye level with me with those heels.... she was already almost eye level but a bit smaller so I needed to look downwards but now there was no need for that.