.''I hate you, I love you''.

-14-

Ashira's pov:

I didn't even talk to Lamp leach after that, Ignoring her and everything of her.... until today when everything changed.

I was talking to Belle in the school hallways, she's been taking time to come see me.

"so euh.... I want to ask.... something" she said, suddenly shy.

"yes?"

"will you.... will you go out with me?" I said nothing at first, glancing at Lauren before huffing a little, why am I even trying?

"sure" she smiled and squealed and hugged me, I think she can tell I want to take things slow for now.

I chuckled.

"meet me at the shop after school" I nodded as she left with a small kiss on my cheek.

"Lamp leach I wou--" "leave her alone bitch" James cut me off.

"shut up fucker, I would kill you if you weren't lucky enough to not have broken my nose"

"what do you want mutt?"

"you know what?! I got enough! how can't you be so obvious?!"

"bitch what are you talking about"

"you are the mate of--" "if it's one of your friends I don't want to hear the end of your sentence, I reject which ever person you know is my mate" well that hurt.

Lauren's pov:

I was annoyed but raised an eyebrow as Ashira's face got covered with her hair, fists clenched tightly before she looked up with a glare visible on her face.

"I Ashira Blackblood accept your rejection as my mate Lauren Clifford" that hit me hard.... wait what?!

"wait what?" I said.

"yeah you were my mate, I was ready to give you another chance, I was ready to forget our past, I was ready for anything but I was scared, scared you'd reject me without giving me a chance.... guess I was right....... I want you away from my life from now on.... I hate you!"

"wait!" but she had already took off running.

I stood frozen there, under the gaze of everyone.... everyone knew a few important things about each race................ like rejecting a wolf was worst then stabbing them in the gut.... multiple time.

Ashira's pov:

I didn't care in who or what I ran in to and knocked over, I didn't care where I was going but I wasn't going to stay.

it felt like my heart was being torn out, my chest on fire, I could barely breath through the pain and the tears.

"welcome to th-- Ashira" I looked up to see I had ran to the coffee shop.

"if everything alright, what's wrong" Bell kind of ignored the people and hugged me.

I kind of let everything spill out, unable to keep it to myself.

after a few hours she took me home with her car.

"are you sure?" she asked after having told her about my plans, I nodded.

"please call me alright?" she asked, tears in her eyes, I sighed and nodded.

"I will don't worry" I kissed her forehead before hesitantly kissing her lips.

she smiled a little as I pulled back and got out of the car and sneaked in the house, packing my stuff that I had come back in to and left a note before running back to the car and getting in, putting my military cap on.

she dropped me of at the train station.

"be careful" she said and I nodded.

"I just need to go back to the place I fit in for a while and this town isn't it"

Lauren's pov:

I knocked on Ashira's house door, I can't shake the guilt and wanted to apologies.

Dash opened the door and I could hear silent sobs from within the house, he glared and tried to close the door but I jammed my foot in the opening.

"p-please I need to apologies"

he said nothing just hit me in the face with a piece of paper before slamming the door shut after having kicked my foot out.

I looked at the paper and my blood ran cold, hands shaking.

mom and mama, I'm sorry but I can't stay longer, I never felt like I fit in like Dash when we came back, I felt alone even with everyone, I didn't even see my cous which I just sad, anyway yeah, I felt out of place so I went back where I fit. I'm sorry to just up and leave but I couldn't be around the person to fucked up my life and now rejected me without even thinking about it twice, I'll be back to lead the pack when I feel it.

Dash please, please don't follow me, you have a life here, friends and fit it, please don't throw it away for me, I promise everything will be okay.

Eszter and Michelle, what can I say? you most likely already sensed this was going to happen huh? well you know why.... be strong okay? you are my best friends and please take care of Dash, I know he'll need you to deal with my disappearance.

and I bet you Lamp leach will try something to, I hate you and want you to stay away from my family or I swear that I'll kill you if I'm ever back. what I said to you at school was true, I was ready to do anything and everything but you proved me you weren't worth my time.... forget about me and everything to do with me, you make me sick to the stomach and torn out my heart.... goodbye forever if possible, you whore, hope you die in hell.

-Ashira Blackblood

I didn't know if I was crying or it was the rain that was now pouring down that was drenching the paper clenched in my tight hands.

I fell to my knees, shoulders shaking.

I'm sorry.... so sorry....

Ashira's pov:

I was sitting on the train with my head resting against my hand and against the window.

alone when last time I was with Dash and going home, Alf sad but understanding my choice since we were so close to each other.

I sighed and stared at the rain hitting the window with an absent look on my face.... going back to the only place I fit in..... the training camp.... shouldn't be too bad I already had spent 7 years there and the officers knew me....

rote in hell Lamp leach.... since you already threw my heart in the fire.