The Butterfly Effect

31. Changes

Friday, October 20

Last night had been tough but not for Olivia, for Elliot. She slept through the entire night after they administered her pain medications- only waking when they ran their rounds, but Elliot couldn't take his eyes off of her. The phone call he had gotten from Fin kept replaying in his head, the feeling of losing Olivia loomed over him. He couldn't shake the thought out of his head that if she had been hit one more time, it could have been the end for her.

"Do you guys really have to come in here every two hours? Jesus.." his reverie was broken when he heard Olivia getting snappy with the nurse.

"Ms.Benson, I'm sorry but you know I have to-"

"Do your rounds I know...here," Olivia, obviously irritated from the constant checking held out her good arm for her blood pressure to be taken.

"Go easy on her Liv. She's just doing her job," Elliot butted in softly and ran his hand along her leg.

"Cassie, you know I mean no harm..."

"Oh trust me I know. I've had my share of patients and you're far from the worst," the young nurse entered a few things into the small computer she wheeled in. "Someone should be in soon to change your dressing on your shoulder. Don't hesitate to call for help," and with that she was on to the next room.

"You look beat," Olivia reached for Elliot's hand that rested on her thigh. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"A little bit. I just wanted to make sure you got through your first night okay."

"I did, so you should go home and get some sleep," she knew he was worried. Scared probably wasn't even a word close enough to describe how he had felt when he heard what happened to her yesterday.

"I'm alright," he tried his best to dismiss her.

"Please go...check on the kids," the way she looked at him- he knew exactly what she was doing.

"I will go but I will be back by lunch. Promise me you'll nap between now and then?"

"Trust me. As soon as they administer this next round of meds I will be out like a light," she tilted her head up when he stood with her lips puckered for him. Elliot leaned over and kissed her softly, cupping the the side of her head as the tips of his fingers thread through the hair at the nape of her neck. When he pulled back, the pad of his thumb ran alongside her face.

"I love you," he kissed a small bruise near her hair line that he assumed she got when she fell after getting hit.

"Love you," she smiled when he pulled her blanket up a little higher before grabbing his keys and leaving.

~

Olivia stared at her right shoulder hidden under her hospital gown. It was wrapped in layers and layers of dressing as she began her journey towards healing. Almost 20 years of being an officer of the NYPD and she hadn't been shot up until yesterday. Granted she had been hit with a few scares, coming close too many times but yesterday was her worst nightmare come to life.

There was a deep grief that followed her after yesterday. She couldn't explain it but the simple thought of leaving Mason and Cecilia behind left an ache in her heart.

Olivia knew it had to be the aftershock of getting hit yesterday, but the need to be with her children pulled at her a little harder today.

The normal detective lasted a few years in special victims, and went on to a new unit. But for Olivia this had become her life. She had spent the better part of her life fighting for victims and committing every minute to them but now...now she wasn't so sure if continuing her life as a detective was the right move.