BTS.
they ran together, all seven of them, making memories with each other before they inevitably got caught and locked away from the cruel and unfair world.
It was cold. Snow was still falling heavy around Namjoon as he trudged along the side of the road. He was in deep thought, busy denying his growing feelings for his best friend as he walked to his old home. There was no way he could go back to Jin's house. He'd left his best friends behind crying because of his words.
He'd ruined everyone's night because of his own stupid insecurities. What did it matter anyway. Gay or not nobody in that house would judge him. But that's the thing. Even if they wouldn't judge him, he'd hear his fathers voice in the back of his head.
'Homosexuality is a disease. These faggots are taking up societies precious time with their marches and protests. They need to be fixed. They need doctors.' That night after dinner Namjoon cried himself to sleep. Just when he thought he was figuring himself out his father went and ruined it all.
Namjoon ran away because of the pressure his father had always put on him. He wanted him to take over his business, he wanted him to marry rich, he wanted grandkids, he wanted his son to be normal. It seemed Namjoon was far from that now. He'd ran away from Ilsan, no doubt his father was still looking for his son. But even if his dad found him, he wouldn't go back to Ilsan. There was no way in hell.
He was disappointed in himself. He loved Jin, even if he wasn't fully sure in which way, he knew he loved him. Making him cry was something his swore he'd never done yet here he was, walking through the snow, running away from the mess he made.
Not only that but he'd ruined Taehyung's big night. He'd brought his friend over and Namjoon ruined it. He might've ruined Taehyung's only friendship outside of their group all because of his stupid insecurities.
"God damn it!" Namjoon screamed. People started at him as he broke down. He turned into an alley, sliding down against the wall. He was shaking and crying. It was all his fault.
He stayed there for an hour, silently crying to himself, hidden in the shadow. People had stopped staring and had walked away. Nobody had noticed him since. Just like always, he was invisible. He didn't have money therefore he wasn't important. That was how the sick world worked, even in 2017.
He left the alleyway and wondered around the city, watching couples walk down the road, hand in hand. He watched families play in the park. He watched people buy gifts for their loved ones. All the things he couldn't do.
Maybe he should go back to his father. Maybe he should grovel a bit to get back into the family. Maybe he should become his fathers hier. Maybe he should marry rich, have kids. Maybe he'll be normal. Maybe he should go home, never talk to Jin, Taehyung, Hoseok or Jimin again. Maybe he should forget about them because it's better for them.
Little did he know. He was needed. Jin needed him, he needed someone to confide in, he needed someone to cuddle when it stormed, he needed someone to laugh with and binge watch drama with. Taehyung needed him to play around with, he needed him to be his older brother, he needed him to take care of him. Jimin needed him for support, he needed him so he didn't have to talk, he needed him when his anxiety was high. Hoseok needed him when he felt down and lonely, he needed him to make him laugh, he needed him to help.
Instead of acknowledging his place in his friend's hearts, he went to his container and laid on his mattress, freezing and alone. There he thought about why they didn't need him and why he was best to just disappear.
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hey! short chapter before the next one another double update ay
