If You Only Knew //e.g.d

•18•

*Monday*

Vanessa's POV
Going to school without Ethan. Yikes. I shouldn't be as scared as I am. Ever since he came, he's been my sanctuary. I'd hate to go back to how it was. Hopefully it won't.

At lunch, I sat at my table in the back like usual, and I didn't see Grayson anywhere. He must be in the lunch line.

I was interrupted from scrolling through Instagram by a few high pitches voices.

"You alone today?" Chelsea the cheerleader twisted her hair.

"Where's your boy toy at?"Another asked. This can't be good.

"Suspended. Just like your boy toy Matthew." I spat back at Chelsea. Woah, where'd that come from?

"Excuse me? Who do you think you are?"

"A person whose not in the mood to deal with this right now."

"Listen to this, little miss princess thinks she can choose a time and place to be harassed." Chelsea giggled. What's that supposed to mean?

"Why the look? You think no one would find out about your little incident at the football party?"

"Words spread. Bee's buzz." The other one laughed.

"Please stop." I asked.

"Oh, now your kind enough to show some manners? I'll teach you manners princess." Chelsea said and sat next to me, her minion on my other side.

"For example, sit upright, cross your damn legs." She said and smack my thigh. I listened to her orders.

"Next, be careful to be gentle with your utensils, don't make a mess!" When she said mess, she flung a spoonful of her mashed potatoes and gravy right in my face. It landed on my chin and dripped.

"Oops. When that happens, make sure to use your napkin to wipe it up!" She grabbed my napkin, smacked it onto my face and smeared the potatoes everywhere she could. Her and her minion laughed as the hot potatoes burned my face.

I pushed her off of me and ran to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror to see that my makeup was all smeared and mixed with the potatoes. I look like a wreck. I am. My eyes were pouring tears.

I struggled to wash my face, leaving no trace of potatoes or makeup. I left the bathroom as quickly as possible and ran out to my car. I got in and drove home as fast as possible.

For whatever reason, this incident made the pot overflow. Overflow with bad thoughts.

My dad left us, left me.

I could barely see where I was walking because of the tears in my eyes. All I knew is that I was in my kitchen.

My Mom is never here. She loves her tacky boyfriend more than she loves us.

I turned on the tap water and violently pulled a drawer open.

Those kids at school treat me like shit. ALWAYS.

I rummaged through the drawer and pulled out a shimmery knife.

My best friend moved away.

I held my arm over the sink, the knife over my wrist. I'm going to do this.

I'm tired of this. All this. I just want it all to go away.

The tip of the blade touched my skin, indenting it. I began to slowly glide the knife acr-

"Vanessa!" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned, red eyed, to see Ethan standing there in complete shock. "Stop!" He quickly ran over to me and threw the knife in the sink.

"Why?!" He shook my shoulders and looked into my eyes, his teary too. I just let it all spill out.

"Ethan... nobody fucking cares about me! I'm done with this shit life! Nobody loves me!" I bawled, my words barely audible.

"I love you." Ethan whispered. I stop making noise and sucked my breath in. What did he just say?

"What?"

"I love you Vanessa. I love you!" His lip quivered. I shook my head, tears running into my mouth.

"How could you love me? You've only known me for a month." I sniffled.

"True love speaks clearly Vanessa. I love you, I know I do." I couldn't speak. He pulled me into his chest and squeezed me tight, like it was the last time he ever would.

"Do you believe me?" He asked with a shaky voice. I nodded and sniffled. "Please promise me that you won't ever hurt yourself. There are people out there who love you and care about you, more than you think. Can you promise me that?"

I nodded again and wiped my face, falling into his arms. He carried me up to my room and we layed on my bed in silence.

Ethan's POV
I didn't ask what happened to Vanessa today, she'll tell me when she's ready. I'm just glad the knife didn't make a mark.

She layed on my chest and played with the string on my sweatshirt. I watched her, trying to put myself in her position.

I came to a conclusion. She had every right to want to do something like that, there was so many reasons to. But, at the same time, there were so many reasons not to.

"Ethan?"

"Ready to talk?"

"I have something to say." She said sitting up and pulling me up with her.

"What is it?"

"Today was one of the worst days of my life. Everything I've been holding in from the last 3 years came out. I truly believe that the only person who could have stopped me was you. And you did. Because of what you said to me. Love is the only thing to live for. I have to live for you." She said, her eyes not leaving mine the whole time. She extended her hand and rested it on my neck.

"I love you, Ethan." She said, and watched me, waiting. I didn't smile, I just kissed her. This kiss felt different then ever. It felt like our lips were so connected that we couldn't pull them apart. Like our lips were burning hot with passion and... love. This kiss lasted longer than any others. It meant more than any others.

When we finally pulled apart, I sucked a breath in and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you." She said back, placing her hands on my face.

"I love you." I said again. Gently pushing her down onto the bed.

"I love you more." She said as I climbed on top of her.

"I love you most." I finished. She tried to speak but I covered her mouth and smirked.

"I win." I said and leaned down, connecting our lips again.

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Omg. Heavy stuff😭