Saving Grace {Haylor}

One

I don't know why I said yes to going. I don't know why I agreed to go meet his daughter and his dying ex girlfriend. I couldn't explain my reasoning. I've been trying to figure it out while Harry showers for the last fifteen minutes. He's probably expecting me to join him. But that wasn't going to happen.

How could you keep this big of thing from someone you love? A child isn't like a pet. You can't just give them away or pretend they don't exist. A child is a... Child! Who breathes and eats and sleeps and has feelings. Who needs love and care and attention. It wasn't something I could just throw over my shoulder. Because this relationship suddenly became a lot heavier. Particularly, a child heavier. If I move back to North Carolina with him, that's saying to the child that I'm taking on the roll of your mother. But if I don't, who knows what happens between Harry and I?

Was this his plan all along? To make me fall in love and then make me choose? Was this just some sick game for him? I prayed not. I prayed so hard. Because I fell in love with Harry. With everything I had, I loved him first. And without him I feel as is I would fall out of place. I don't know if I could keep my sanity.

Harry walks out of the shower with a towel around him waist and shakes his floppy hair. "You must be thinking." He says and I look over his way. "You go dead still when you're thinking. And you're in the exact same spot you were in when I left to shower."

"Of course I'm thinking." I say bluntly, watching him walk closer and sitting on the bed.

"You know I love you, right?"

"That's not gonna work right now, Harry. Saying 'I love you' isn't going to magically solve our problems. I have 8 hours to decide what I'm going to do."

"Why don't we talk through this... Please?" He falls back on my bed and takes my hand, pressing it to his lips. "What's your biggest fear?"

I roll my eyes. "What isn't my biggest fear right now. I'm scared that I'm not going to live up to your expectation to be a mother to your daughter, I'm scared that I'm going to loose you. I'm scared of a lot of things Harry. I just don't know if I can handle this."

Harry extends his hand to my neck, rubbing my jawline. "Babe, Taylor, I wouldn't do this if I thought you couldn't handle it. I wouldn't do this to Annie if I didn't think you would be a good step mother. And it's not like you have to step into that position right away. Just being there. Be there for me and for her. You're brave Taylor. You don't give yourself enough credit. I think you can do this. I believe in you. But I also don't want to pressure you to do anything that you don't want to do." He balances his forehead against mine. "You say the word and I get on the plane by myself."

I push my lips together and shut my eyes. "Harry, I want to be there for you, so bad."

He whispers and kisses my forehead. "Goodnight babe." I sink into the covers. Harry stands and changes into a different pair of boxers and a muscle shirt.

Harry was there for me. He was there if I needed him. Always. A phone call and he was there. He saved me from myself. He made me a better person. He stood up for me when we had known each other all of two hours... Growing up my grandma told me that if there was one thing to learn from her, it was that you gotta go with your heart. Even if it seems crazy and irrational, go for it. Because when you know, you know. And there's no other way to explain it. These past months I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. Harry had brought this light into a tunnel and guided me out when I was lost. This wasn't something I could forget about. Harry was the one. And if I was stupid enough to let one bump ruin our relationship, I never deserved him in the first place.

Harry is back in my bed and I'm staring into his eyes as if they're going to magically give me the answers. As if looking into those green stones would give me some kind of epiphany. If I loved Harry, and I wanted to be with him, I had to accept being a mother in this girls life. And right now was as good as any. "I'll go." I whisper softly.

"You sure?"

"Relationships are about trusting each other. And taking risks. So yeah, I'll go."

"It means a lot, Tay." He presses his lips into my forehead and I sigh.

"I know."

•••

I wasn't really sure what to pack, so I packed a little bit of everything. I had never been to North Carolina. I had actually never really been out of Tennessee. I'd been to La, Cali, New York and Rhode Island but all on different occasions. Harry didn't know how long we'd be gone. It was all based on how long Alyssa would fight. The doctors called any day, but considering her fight had been four and half years... Who knew.

The entire plane ride there I was sitting on needles. Harry seemed relaxed as ever, but I was convinced it was an act. He had bags under his eyes still and over all just looked exhausted. I was doing this for him. To be there for him. To support him in this. For once, I was supposed to be the support system. I was supposed to be the adult. I was supposed to be the strong one. I didn't think I was ready. But I had to be. "It's okay to be scared." I whisper, pushing a kiss into his cheek.

"Good because I'm downright terrified." He looks straight ahead and I take one of his hands and fold them both in mine. "She's leaving... She's slowly disappearing and it's nothing I can stop."

"I know. But you have me. I may not be any kind of special, but I can love you."

He turns and makes a little smile. "I love you too. And so will Annie."

My heart sinks into my stomach. "I hope so."

"I know so. With your handholds there's no way she couldn't." I break a little laugh. "And that laugh, boy, Annie loves to laugh."

The flight from home to Greensboro wasn't any longer than an hour and a half away. It seemed longer but when the pilot finally said we were landing Harry and I both took a sigh of relief. We walk out and find my suitcase, then head to Harry's car in overnight parking.

It's not until we're at the hospital that I can feel my knees rattle. I don't know if I can walk, so with a deep breath I get up and start moving. My legs numb. I sip on the Starbucks Harry ran to get us. It's cold now, but I'm still sipping. As if I can swallow my nerves away.

Harry holds my hand and guides me through the hospital. Grey hallway after grey hallway, with the same beeping of machines. We take an elevator up a few floors and I pull a stuffed cat I got at the airport from my purse. It actually looked like Meredith. Grey and white with darkened stripes. It was soft and I thought maybe she's like it.

Before I know it we're standing outside a door with the name Alyssa Dixon on the door. I guess she must have been subjected here awhile. "You ready?" Harry asks, rubbing my cheek and I honestly don't think I am.

I flatten out my knee lengthen shirt and adjusted my tank top one last time fire nodding. "As I'm ever gonna be."

"It's going to be fine." He says, but doesn't give me another moment to disagree. The door opens and I close my eyes for a moment. Completely out of place.

"Daddy!!!" The charming voice of a child makes me open my eyes and Harry swoops the little red head in one arm, all while holding my hand. "Oh my gosh!" We make eye contact and I try to smile, but I can't tell if it's believable. "Daddy, is there her? She's even prettier in person!" She pushes from Harry's arms and we walk into the room a little further as the red head dashes across the room to who I am assuming is Alyssa. Lying in bed. Colourless. Lifeless. Her hair to her shoulders but no longer than that. "Mommy, isn't she pretty!" Annie takes her mothers hand and she looks up at me.

Alyssa cracks a small smile before adjusting the hose in her nose. "Yes darling, she's very pretty."

A/N

Hey guys! I don't know if there will be a update tomorrow so that's why I did this one so late. I hope you guys like it. Depending on what you guys thing will be the deciding factor of how long this story gets. If you say you want it to keep going I could easily do that. Let me know in the comments if you don't want it to end! And vote!

PS! Don't forget to cheek out FanficsbyBrooke's story, About Time! Pretty interesting stuff going on there.

Anyway I'm off to bed. I love you guys!

A