Saving Grace {Haylor}

Christmas Day

"Moooom!" Annie says at a fail whisper. Her hands wrapping around my arm as she shakes me awake. When I don't stir she hope up on the bed and straddles my waist, jiggling us both. "Wake up!" She demands with an airy sense. "Please?"

"Well, since you said please!" I laugh, opening my eyes and jumping to wrap my arms around her. I flip her to the side and start tickling her all over. Her laughter moves to the highest point in the ceiling.

Harry suddenly wakes up with a grown and turns over to only glance at me before attacking Annie in a hug. "What about daddy?"

"Merry Christmas!" She cheers and kisses hum briefly. "Is it present time???"

Harry shrugs, "ask mom."

She turns to look at me, "please?"

I nod, "sure! But first, go wake Gram and Gramp, Kay?" She nods and it's only a moment before she darts out of our room and down the hallway. "Why do you do that?" I frown at Harry.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He shrugs, stretching from under the covers.

I fall back into my pillow and sigh. He doesn't say anything, just looks above us at the white speckled ceiling. I out stretch my arm and slide it along his chest, the muscle shirt creating a barrier between us. I bring myself closer and rest my head on his chest as I cuddle closer. "I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." He says back, his fingers drag down my back and rubs the spot between my shoulder blades.

I lick my lips. "Harry, you know how much I love Annie. You know how much she means to me, but sometimes I wish we could just go back to the summer. When it was just us. And our love. There wasn't anything holding us back. We did what we wanted when we wanted."

His chest rises and falls and his hand stops rubbing. "I think about it more than anything."

"I hate that we fight, ya know?"

"So do I. Yelling at you isn't something that I ever want to do. Seeing you cry, it kills me. That's why I walk out."

"Are you sure it's not because I'm crazy?"

"You're not crazy. Just misunderstood."

I roll my eyes and push myself out of bed to meet everyone else downstairs. I jog down the stairs and I can sense Harry not too far behind me. "Mom! Dad! Look! Santa left a letter!!"

My face lights up just like hers as u run down the last few steps. "Really? What did he say?"

"Grandma was just about to read it!" She says, falling to her bottom, looking up at my mother with her big green eyes. And my mom begins to read off the letter that I had messily wrote only a handful of hours ago. I checked my phone on the way down and it was only eight am. But I wasn't going to hold back Christmas. The rule in our household growing up was the first person to wake up, wakes everyone up. It was usually me and Karlie and I would sneak down stairs before everyone else to just get a glimpse of it all. Then we would rush to our parents' room who would then proceed to get Austin and meet us in the living area.

I watch as Annie squeals with excitement and I sit down beside her, cross legged. Something in my stomach pinches as I do so but I just adjust myself and pull my legs closer. Annie starts handing out gifts to whom the present belongs to by tag and once everyone has their presents she starts digging in the boxes. My mom opens a book from her favourite author signed on the front cover from my father. Harry opens a hand printed canvas from Annie and he proceeds to kiss her forehead. Annie opens a new pair of boots my my parents and she has no hesitation to jump into them. I'm urged to open one gift, a long rectangular box and I eye Harry. He's never really given me jewellery before so I'm curious to see his taste.

The paper slides off the shimmy the lid up. On a black backdrop lays a diamond bracelet created in the shape of eight infinity signs. I swear my heart stops. This must have cost a fortune. The gasp I create makes everything halt, even the wind outside. "Har-" I start but instead of letting me continue he grabs my hand.

"I know what you're thinking and don't you dare say it."

After all the recent fights it comes back to this. A beautiful gift that must have cost him hundreds of dollars. "This is too much." I say, looking down at it. It's like a guilt trip. That maybe I am the one messing things up in the relationship. Maybe I am being the bitch and I just don't see it.

"I told you to not say it." He laughs, "wanna put it on?"

I push my hair out of my eyes and nod, extending my wrist and handing him the box. It clasps on perfectly, like it was made to fit. I stretch my arms out around Harry, lifting my body up so I balance on my knees. My nose burrows into the curve of his neck and I pray I don't cry. He kisses the side of my head and laughs, squeezing me just as tight back. My body trembles and my heart aches. He does love me.

•••

Harry's arm curves around my waist. His skin is hot, even against my own clamminess. My nose is pressed to the side of his and our lips barely meet. "I wanna have a family." Harry's words come out like mumbles and I wonder if I'm the only one who could ever understand them.

"We have a family." I reply, a firm kiss on his lips, my fingers pulling at the back of his neck.

"I want something that's ours though, someone that's ours."

I stop kissing, and push him back at his chest. I wrap the sheet around myself and sit up. "We're not ready for that."

"What makes you so sure?"

"We haven't even reached our year yet and we've already moved in and act like an old married couple. And not in a good way if I must add. Do you really think that would be smart? A baby? We fight enough, a child doesn't need that."

He rolls his eyes and tugs me at the hip. "We're getting over that."

"Harry, please." I whisper. "I just wanna be smart. Why we gotta go so fast?"

"All I'm saying is that we should stop preventing it from happening." I shake my head. "Come on."

"All you want is better sex." I huff, turning over under the blanket. "You always have to ruin perfect nights like this, Harry." And it's true. Tonight... Today. This entire Christmas had been perfect. The food was amazing and Harry was amazing and the gifts were just a nice touch. The sense of family, and the constant feeling of love surrounding us. It couldn't of been more perfect.

I feel his fingers grasp my shoulder and his lip prints tingle against the back of my neck. "We won't do that. Cause that's not what it's about. I just... I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I don't wanna waste time."

"Love isn't about wasting time, Harry." I turn over. "It's about, falling in love all over again every single day and when you're not with each other you're craving the other. It's not a contest of who can get married faster and have babies quick. Hell, I wouldn't care if I was thirty and still didn't have a child. It's not about time. I could care less anymore. I just... I want to be happy. With you. With us."

"I am happy, Taylor. I am. I am so it love with you it's crazy. I know we fight... A lot. But I mean, all couples do. We get on each other's nerves, that's the worst part of our relationship? Well then I say we're doing pretty good. So we don't have to try for kids at this very moment, okay. I get it and I understand. But please, Taylor. Understand that I'm not going anywhere. And that, well, you bring out the best in me. And I think I bring out the best in you too. I haven't seen you take as many pictures as you did tonight in a long time, and that's where you shine. We'll finish your studio this week so we can set that up for you and you can be at your happiness. Alright?"

"Alright." I say. Now gleaming inside, thinking of all the wonderful shots I got. We had went to the Center ice skating and I did for a little but then stopped to take photos. I missed it. Holding a camera. And I couldn't wait until I started it again.

My lips touch Harry's and he whispers a thank you.

"Thank you?" I raise my eyebrow. "For what?"

"For being mine."