Saving Grace {Haylor}

Window

It's been a handful of days since everything went down but it feels more like weeks, of a never ending day. Sleep was rare, and when I did get some, it wasn't a lot. I stuck to the guestroom and didn't really leave much. I often let my phone run dead so Harry would stop texting and calling. But that didn't stop him.

For the past three days he's shown up at least twice a day. I know because I can hear him through the window, knocking at the door and begging for Britany or Nate to let him in. Even though Britany was all for letting him in, and wanting us to talk, she wouldn't betray me like that. So she turned him away.

I hear the door bell ring and I perch myself at the window. It's not like I intended to, it just happened. I was up to get some coffee and when I got back to my room, the door bell rang and the window was there and I just... Looked.

Harry doesn't look all that great, even from this view. Usually hair kept himself poised. He knew who he was a betrayed that very well. Weather we were in my shitty old town, North Carolina, or here in Nashville. But he doesn't look how he usually does. He seems dishevelled. In a wrinkly shirt and a dirty pair of jeans. His hair messier than usual, and not in a pleasant way. He stands at the door, talking to Britany for a good five minutes, one hand in his hair briefly and the other in the back pocket of his jeans. The door closes and I step back. Harry backs away, jogging off to his car and speeding off.

I pick up my phone from the side table and stare at the blank screen. Waiting for me to unlock it and dial in. Like I'm trying to win a contest. When really, I just want my boyfriend back. One click and i would be talking to him. I would be hearing his voice....

There's a knock at my door and Brit opens it, comes in before I have a chance to react, then flops down on the bed. "Harry was here again." She says and I can tell she's about to give me a lecture. "He said he misses you."

"I'm sure he said that to Kate when he was with me, too." I chuck my phone at the bed and it lands on my pillow.

"I get that you need time, but let's be honest, you can't stay here forever I'm this guest room. I would love you to, but it's just not an option." I look around and sip my coffee. "You have to make up your mind and go back home."

"To my parents? They'll blame this all on me when I tell them. I know they will." I sit beside Britany and swallow hard.

"No, to Harry."

I pick the Antidepressants and anxiety pills from the drawer and pull a few out before swallowing them down with pure caffeine. "Harry isn't home anymore, Brit."

"What about Annie?"

"What about her? She's a little girl who is gonna have a bombshell of a mother in a matter of month. A good handful of siblings too. She doesn't need me. No one ever needs me. I'm just there. A simple bystander." I grasp my stomach at a sharp pain.

"Everything okay?" I nod and grasp tighter. "Taylor, you sure?"

"It's just these pills. My stomach never sits well."

She sighs. "Okay, well, you can stay for a bit longer but you need to figure things out, either with Harry or your parents. I love having you here, but I can't let you if you're just going to waste away in this room."

"I'm not wasting away, Brit. I just need time to cope."

Britany nods lightly and hugs me from the side then standing up and starting off. "I've gotta get to work. But I'll be home around five. I'm thinking pizza for dinner, I feel lazy today."

I shrug and agree. "Whatever you want!"

•••

I feel like it's been years since I talked to Harry or even looked him in the eyes. Just the course of a few days... It drives me crazy. I can hardly phantom if it's day time or night time. All I do is watch rerun crime shows and pull the covers over me knees.

Although I hated that he was trying to talk to me, I hate it even more that I'm not with him. I just hate what he did. What Kate did. She had it out for me from the beginning. She was plotting the entire time. I haven't moved from this spot for a few hours and I've locked myself in a day dream. If you could even call it that, more like a trance. The door pushes open and Nate walks in, a tray in how hand. "Britany had to cover for a co worker tonight, so I thought maybe we could hang out."

I look at him, weighing my options and pause the tv show, welcoming him beside me.

"How ya feeling?"

I shrug.

"How's the baby?"

I shrug again.

"Okay well, I ordered Chinese food..." I look at the white trays and my stomach turns queasy. "You can talk to me, you're not under arrest."

"It feels like it."

He smiles softly and nods. "Ya know, coming from a guy, I'm gonna say this. We fuck up. A lot. And we make mistakes. What Harry did, if he even did it, was completely wrong. But... What if he didn't do it?"

"And what if he did?"

"You're never gonna know if you don't talk to him, it'll be hard, yeah but-"

"But what? I get my heartbroken even more? Britany is different than most girls, Nathan. She's headstrong and smart and determined and strong. I am not. I give in. I know if I go and talk to him, all my walls will fall and I'll be under his spell." It goes silent. So silent I can almost here the screams from inside. "And I can't do that. I'm too weak."

I rub my eyes. "Spring roll?"

I lick my lips and take the roll from Nathan's hand and take a small bite. "Thanks."

•••

If you ask me how to explain how the rest of my night goes, I honestly don't know if I could tell you. Explain it, I mean. I ate with Nate and then he carried on to his own thing, something to do with work or what not and I was alone again. I didn't mind it at all. Honestly, I liked it.

But in the middle of the night I find myself hunched over the toilet, hardly holding myself up to release everything from my stomach. Everything else just blurred together and I can't tell you why it happened, all I know is that it did.

My eyes burn and my stomach twists, I screech out with pain. I feel weak, senseless and numb yet excruciating at the same time. I don't know what I'm feeling. Sweat drips from my forehead and I feel light headed. Moments later Britany is at my side, holding me up. I don't remember what she said or how she got on the floor beside me but she looks confused. The same as how I feel.

"Taylor, are you okay, what's wrong." Her voice so caring and mellow as she pulls my hair into a pony or bun thing at the back of my head.

"I... I don't know!" I clench my stomach and my stomach at the same time. I don't know what's wrong with me. But I want it to stop! ... I think.

Her cold hands grasp each side of my face and she pulls me so I'm looking at her directly. No where to run. She looks startled and scared, yet intimidated at the same time. If anyone knew my past with this thing, it was Britany. She knew how to deal with, more than I did. "Did you so this on purpose."

I've never seen so much... Threat in her eyes before. I quiver.

"Taylor!" Her voice gets louder and she holds my cheeks tighter. "Did you do this on purpose?!"

My chest tightens. "I... No! .. I don't know... Maybe."

Her eyes soften and her shoulders fall. We loose eye contact and her cold fingers love from my cheeks to my shoulders. She shakes her head softly.

"I don't know, Brit." I reiterate.

She frowns slightly and I loose the feeling of her fingers and instead she's holding me sternly in a hug which I let all my tears release into her tank too. And I think she does too.

I feel hopeless.

Terrified.

Scared.

I can't control myself anymore.

I can feel it.

My sanity slowly slipping.

A/N

SORRY THIS IS SUCH A SHITTY CHAOTER. CHECK OUT BROOKE'S FANFIC 'Try Me!' ITS PRETTY GREAT!!! I LOOOOOVE IT!!!!